Serious
by solitaireclay07
Summary: Lily's boyfriend breaks up with her, because she wasn't what he wanted, and he wanted seriousness. Lily is determined to show him that she is serious even if that means joining The Order of the Phoenix. Inspired by Legally Blonde.
1. Time To Get Serious

How dare he say that to her? How dare he say she wasn't _serious._

Serious. What did he mean anyway? She was serious when called for, but when it wasn't, she preferred to have a joyful outlook on life. Because of the war, she needed to look to the bright side to even get up each morning – it was a struggle. And now she was getting ridiculed for it.

He was too serious. Saying he needed to jump to the front lines of the war right at this very second. They were still in school – in fact, they still had months left before graduating.

He said he loved her. She wasn't sure what love was – but maybe it was love she shared with him. Maybe she was falling for him.

But no. He didn't mean it – especially since he had said all those things to her. He needed to be serious...she needed to be serious...everyone needed to be so _serious_.

And then after he had told her that he needed to get serious and loved her, he said something about how they should see other people. Other people! He had separated himself from her – that bastard!

Walking with him to Hogsmeade earlier that morning, she had actually thought that he was going to surprise her with something. Such a surprise she got.

She sat down on a rock facing the lake and absentmindedly found herself fingering the necklace he had bought for their two month anniversary. Why did she want to still be with him? Was it because of love? Or did she just have such strong feelings for him she couldn't think straight? Wasn't it the same thing?

Either she could chase after him, find him and get him to fall in love with her all over again, or she could move on and forget about the guy. Her heart ached when she thought about the very thing. She needed him by her side, she needed him to love her, and she needed to learn how to love him back.

All the questions from before flooded through her mind.

She pushed back her questions and then concentrated on the conversation earlier. What had he said again?

He said he loved her.

He said she looked nice.

He said something about future plans.

He said it was time to get serious – with her.

He said he always imagined being a great hero.

He wanted to take his journey through life. Seriously, of course.

He said she didn't fit into any of that.

He said needed someone serious.

He said his future was planned and she would understand that.

And it was time to get serious.

In a rash movement, Lily pulled off the necklace dangling from her neck and hurled it down into the dirt. It broke into silvers of pieces and she couldn't help but think that's how she felt inside.

And the only way she would feel better was by mending those broken pieces.

That was it.

She needed to get serious.

* * *

I know, I'm insane for writing another chapter story when I'm already writing one. But this story isn't my priority because And Then There Were None is. So, this might not be updated as much.

This story is very spur of the moment. I was listening to "Serious" from the Legally Blonde 2007 Cast Soundtrack and it came to me. This is just the prologue so that's why it's so short.

Next chapter to come out...hopefully soon.


	2. What You Want

Here's chapter two of Serious. Enjoy.

* * *

Lily frowned, standing awkwardly in front of the statue of the gargoyle. To get into the headmaster's office, she needed a password. A password. What would Dumbledore have as his password? 

"Um...licorice whips?...chocolate frog?...uh..." Maybe it was something no one would think of. "...Gummy bears?" To her surprise, the gargoyle sprang aside and the wall behind split into two, revealing a spiral stone staircase.

Cautiously, Lily stepped forward and onto the staircase as it went up. Sliding her hands on the wall, she thought about what she was doing. What would Dumbledore say? Would he even let her in? If he would let him in, than of course, he would let her in. They had to.

The staircase finally ended and it lead her to an oak door with a brass knocker. She walked forward and studied the knocker; it was in the shape of a griffin and looked very elaborate. Lily reached out, feeling the cold brass under her fingers, and lifted up.

"We can't-"

Lily stopped in mid-air, noticing the voices coming from the other side. Could she listen in on their conversation?

"The Order is about-"

She could only hear parts of their conversation though. But someone had said something about the Order. That was what he was in. That was what she needed to do to become serious.

Finally, she brought the knocker down and made a loud tap. The voices in the room ceased and she could only hear whispers now.

Bright light flooded into the entrance room as the oak door was opened. Lily found herself staring back at Dumbledore, who was staring down at her amusedly.

"Why, Miss Evans, what brings you here?" he asked her conversationally.

Lily took a deep breath and looked past Dumbledore to see about ten other people in the room. "I want to join the Order."

Dumbledore smiled at her. "That's a very courageous thing to want to be involved in, Miss Evans-"

"You can't let her!" Lily heard from behind Dumbledore.

Dumbledore moved aside so Lily could see her...ex-boyfriend, Caradoc Dearborn, step forward, shaking his head. Lily bit her lip when she saw him; memories of the day before coming back to her. Dark brown hair, gray eyes, and looking as handsome as ever. Looking back at Lily, Dumbledore said, "And why not Mr. Dearborn?"

Caradoc sighed. "She'll...-she's not ready for this."

Lily scoffed, folding her arms across her chest. But she refused to say anything, and instead just continued to stare at him.

"Miss Evans, are you serious about joining the Order?"

Serious. There was that word again. Lily looked up at Dumbledore and caught Caradoc's gaze behind him. He was watching her carefully and Lily knew the only way to get him back – to make him love her all over again. "Yes, I am serious."

* * *

"You joined the Order?" 

Lily tilted her head to see Marlene McKinnon sit down next to her, concern etched on her face.

"Yes," Lily answered simply, nervously folding her hands on the table.

Marlene looked at Lily as if waiting for her to say it was a joke. "You're serious?"

Lily sighed in exasperation, sick of that word. "Yes," she said through clenched teeth.

Marlene shrugged. "It's just that you never told me you wanted to join. In fact, when I said I was thinking about joining, you said you'd rather work at St. Mungo's and help there."

"Caradoc told me I wasn't serious," Lily blurted out.

Marlene turned to look at Lily, a confused frown appearing on her face. "What?"

Lily didn't say anything, instead placing her attention on the food in front of her.

"Not serious?" Marlene scoffed, "Oh, come on, Lily, you're like the most serious person I know."

Lily shook her head. "No, I'm not..."

Marlene sighed. "No. Caradoc is an idiot. I never liked him anyway."

"I think I might love him."

Marlene leaned forward, shock evident in her eyes. "You're kidding, right?"

"And I'm going to get him back," Lily said with a definite sound, "I'll show him I'm serious through the Order. Help with the war. And he'll want me back."

Marlene snorted, rolling her eyes. "What makes you think you can do this?"

She needed a cause. She needed a reason. What could be strong enough to last through this ordeal? Then it came to her.

"Love," Lily announced strongly, "I'm doing this for love."

Marlene watched her skeptically. "I don't-"

"Love will see me through this." With every word, Lily could feel herself get surer about the whole thing. "And with love on my side I can't lose." Lily immediately brightened, turning toward Marlene with a grin. "I can do this, Marlene."

Marlene watched as Lily got up quickly and ran out of the Great Hall, ready to start the day.

Marlene went back to her food with a thought. Maybe it would just be easier to help Lily as if she liked this plan. But it involving Caradoc...- it was going to be hard.

* * *

It was the first meeting for Lily. She didn't know what to expect. Did she need to make an impression on her first day or was it so informal she didn't need to? Lily decided that it didn't matter. All she needed to bring was herself...and her wand, of course. 

Ten minutes before the meeting, Lily hurried down the dormitory steps, barely stepping on each step before reaching the next. As soon as ran out of steps, she heard someone shout out her name.

"Lily!"

Lily looked around swiftly at the familiar voice. "Caradoc..."

"Hey." He walked over as if nothing had happened between them. Hesitating as if he had something to say, Caradoc finally said, "I still can't believe you joined the Order."

Lily turned to look at him. "I wanted to," she said with a nod.

Caradoc furrowed his brow in confusion. "But why?"

Lily just shrugged, turning away from him. "I'm serious about it."

She was about to leave with those words until he said something that made her turn around. "Yeah right. Serious." The sarcasm came across clearly.

"What?" Lily stuttered, struggling to even get out that word.

"I just don't think this what you should be doing. Being in danger and all." Caradoc may have been talking, but Lily had stopped listening way before. She stared at him, gesturing wildly with his hands, but she heard no sound.

He really didn't think she was serious. She was shocked, surprised...and should have been offended. But, for some reason, she wasn't. Lily watched him keep talking and kept thinking that it was an offensive comment. She really wanted to get mad at him. But the way he looked at her, the way he smiled, the way he talked, his eyes, his dimples, him...she couldn't.

"I have to go," Lily managed to say, turning around quickly and scrambling out of the portrait hole. She walked briskly around the corner and hoped that she wouldn't catch up.

She couldn't deal with him now.

She wanted to hate him...

But she didn't. It made her want him to love her even more. More determined.

With a sigh, Lily realized she was crazy going through this.

* * *

"Welcome Miss Evans," Dumbledore said genially. 

Lily walked inside his office, stopping right outside his door. She took in her surroundings and also looked around to see her fellow Order members. She didn't know most of time, recognizing only a couple people; the Longbottoms, who graduated a couple years before herself, the Prewetts, Sirius Black.

Wait.

"Sirius?" Lily voiced out loud. He caught her gaze across the room and, with a grin, made his way over.

"Lily, what are you doing here?" he asked on his way over. He sounded genuinely surprised, looking at her cautiously.

"I joined. Weren't you there?" Lily said with a smile; she was glad to know someone in this organization.

Sirius shook his head. "I wasn't here last week. Long story." Lily didn't even care that he didn't give her a definite answer. Sirius continued, "And what made you decide to join?"

As if on cue, Caradoc walked into the room, immediately starting up a conversation with a tall guy Lily didn't know. Sirius followed her gaze. "Really?" He looked back at her, nose scrunched up in distaste.

"I think I may really like him, Sirius," Lily defended Caradoc, still looking over at him.

Sirius frowned. "It's really hard to hear that when my best friend is still head over heels for you."

Lily rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "He isn't anymore. Ever since the beginning of the year, he's been ignoring me."

Sirius nodded. "Still, Lily, I know-"

"No, Sirius," Lily cut him off, "If he won't talk to me, I'm not talking to him, and we're both over it."

With a sigh, Sirius said, "Well, have fun not talking then."

Lily tilted her head at him, as Sirius turned to leave. She tried to grab his arm before he could get away and ask what was going on but he was gone before then. "What was that?" Lily murmured to herself, pushing back her hair from her eyes.

She turned back around to look for Caradoc and met someone else instead.

Instead of saying a greeting or anything at all, Lily bit her lip, staring up into James Potter's hazel eyes.

He stared down at her (him being over six feet tall and her only five foot three). He looked contemplative, hair falling into his eyes messily, the sparkle from his eyes covered darkly.

They hadn't even talked on their Head Boy and Girl duties. Words about business, yes, but they had never had a personal conversation since sixth year.

This made it strange, seeing him stand in front of her, about to say something.

"Welcome everyone."

Lily was distracted by Dumbledore standing in front of the office, smiling at them all. Taking her gaze off the guy in front of her, she turned toward Dumbledore taking a few needed steps away.

"We have a new member since the last meeting. I'm sure most of you know Miss Lily Evans."

Instead of being completely mortified, Lily turned and smiled at everyone in the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of Caradoc. He didn't look that happy. And she was somewhat ecstatic that he wasn't enjoying this.

"Now, Mr. Fenwick would like to finish his thoughts from last week." Dumbledore moved aside to let the tall man that Lily had seen talking to Caradoc address the group.

The man looked down at the group; his dark eyes moving from each other slowly as if to intimidate them. "Voldemort's growing stronger. We need to start training_ immediately_. We don't have time to think this through. Everyday Voldemort rises more and more into power. We need to stop him _now_."

Lily watched this man talk, his words finally sinking in.

What was she doing here? Caradoc was right – this was _crazy_. She couldn't fight against Voldemort.

She needed to get out of here – right now.

"Professor?" Lily raised her hand in the air before thinking.

Dumbledore turned to look at Lily, eyes peering at her over his half-moon spectacles. "Yes, Miss Evans?"

"I-"

There were people in the room. People who would see her fail. Lily Evans wasn't known as someone who failed. She succeeded in everything she did. But she wanted to do these things; she didn't want to fight.

But…Caradoc. She caught sight of him on her right. His arms were crossed as if he saw this coming. He knew she was going to quit. That was why he said she wasn't serious. He had her where he wanted her.

Lily faltered, staring back at Dumbledore, trying to say _something_. But nothing was coming out of her mouth. She looked like a fish, opening and closing her mouth, no words forming.

Marlene was going to join the Order. She was going to fight against Voldemort. Lily's _best friend_ was going to fight and she couldn't find the strength to side by her?

And Sirius was here. And double checking who was in the room Lily noticed that Remus and Peter were here also. They were going to fight. They were going to risk their lives.

And James Potter.

That – _prick_ was actually stepping up to do something. Something for somebody other than himself.

If he could do it, Lily could.

And she couldn't let Caradoc win.

Lily took one look at her ex-boyfriend and grinned. "What are we waiting for? Let's start training."

* * *

I just want to say, no, this story will not follow the exact story line as Legally Blonde. It was just inspired by it. 

Review...and...I'll update as soon as I can. Promise.


	3. The Order Variations

Chapter three. For my ATTWN readers: no, I haven't even started chapter five.

A little fact about this story is that each chapter will have a song from the musical in it somewhere hidden. Each chapter title is based off of a song or is a line from the musical.

It's going to take a big turn later, and so it will not turn out the same way Legally Blonde does.

So, read, enjoy, and review!

* * *

It went well – at least Lily thought so. It hadn't been the best training session but she had caught on quick. 

She only messed up when she caught glances of Caradoc across the room. His hair was gracefully falling into his eyes and they were squinted, as he concentrated on the what looked like a very difficult spell. She smiled when she saw him like that, which caused her to lose concentration on what she was doing.

The person who was training with her, some girl with short dark hair and brown eyes, frowned, letting down her wand. "I'm trying to practice here," she loudly said. "_Concentrate_!"

Lily jumped, spinning back around to face the girl. Slightly flustered, Lily duplicated her frown. "Sorry, I just-"

"I'm here to learn," the girl sneered, "And if you're not here for that, step aside and let the important people work."

Rolling her eyes, Lily sighed, and waited for the end of the day.

He was sitting by himself during supper. From her view at the Gryffindor table, Lily saw this as the perfect opportunity to go talk to him.

She sat down on his right, leaning forward and tilting her head to catch his gaze. "How are you, Caradoc?"

He looked at her strangely. "Lily, what are you doing here?"

Lily smiled innocently at him. "Just wanted to see how you are doing and everything, you know..."

Caradoc didn't say anything for a second and then opened his mouth to speak. But he was interrupted as someone sat down on the other side of him. A skinny tall girl with...short dark hair and...brown eyes. Her. It was the rude girl from the Order.

Turning to the girl in surprise, Caradoc then turned back to Lily, never finishing his sentence.

The girl smiled and leaned forward, trying to get Caradoc's attention. She placed her hand on his shoulder and smiled in almost sinister way. In fact it looked like...

"Dorcas, what are you doing here?" Caradoc asked amusedly, finally looking away from Lily again and at the girl instead.

"I wanted to have supper with my boyfriend, of course," Dorcas replied sweetly, leaning forward and placing a light kiss on his cheek.

Boyfriend.

Lily's eyes widened at the word and her breath hitched. She suddenly felt as though she couldn't breathe. Her whole world came crashing down. Her whole plan. What was she to do?

"Boyfriend?" Lily choked out.

Dorcas smiled. "Why, yes. Caradoc and I are actually old friends. We grew up together and recently decided we were perfect for each other. I guess it's fate that brought us together."

Lily took a few shattering breaths. Blinking back tears, she stood up hastily. "I...have to go," she stuttered, taking a few large steps backward.

Then she turned and fled.

* * *

"You're better than him, Lily." 

Lily appeared from under her covers for the first time that day. She ran her hand through her unkempt hair and said softly, "I joined the Order for him."

Marlene rolled her eyes, leaning forward from her adjacent bed. "Well, then forget about him and join the Order for yourself."

"I can't."

Marlene sighed. "I don't see why you like this guy. He obviously got over you fast."

Lily stretched underneath her sheets, leaning over the edge, still holding onto a pillow for comfort. "I can't just let him go, Marlene. I've come too far already."

Marlene didn't say anything for a long while. Lily looked up at her. "Say something encouraging," Lily pleaded.

Looking at Lily with thoughtful eyes, Marlene finally said, "Do you know the Irish fear nothing and no one?"

Lily sat up slowly, a confused look passing across her face. "What?" she asked, clearly lost. That wasn't an encouraging statement.

"Well, they keep fighting till they win," Marlene tried to explain, and then paused, taking a moment to chuckle. "You know, I'm not actually sure where this metaphor's going, I just thought it might be interesting to say."

Lily fell back down again. "Not helping, Marlene."

"Well, I guess I'm just trying to say, go and fight for him," Marlene finished with a reassuring smile and a shrug.

"Thanks." Lily smiled back at her, feeling a bit better.

"How was the actual meeting by the way?" Marlene inquired, leaning forward interestedly.

Lily took her time before answering. "It was fine. A lot of people from school are in there already."

Marlene raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Really? I thought everyone was waiting until after school – like me."

Shrugging, Lily replied, "Well, there's only a couple. Caradoc, of course, that Dorcas girl, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter-"

"You're kidding."

It was said so abruptly that Lily almost fell off her bed. "What?" she asked Marlene, who was staring back at her with an shocked expression.

"_They're_ all in the Order?"

Lily nodded, seeing the reason for Marlene's shock. "Hard to believe but yes."

Marlene sighed in frustration, standing up. "I can't believe that many people are already in it. I didn't expect so many – Dumbledore told me that most join after school." She looked thoughtful for a second, and then said simply, "I'm going to talk to him." And with that, she left.

Lily watched her go with an amused expression on her face.

* * *

Before even sitting down at the table, Marlene said, in a hushed tone, "The next meeting is tonight." 

Lily took a double take before realizing it was Marlene who said something about the Order. Marlene wasn't supposed to know -- "How-?"

"Talked to Dumbledore. Though I'd keep you from being paired up with Dorcas again." Marlene grinned.

Lily stared at her for a second before breaking out into a smile. "That does brighten my day a bit."

"Now," Marlene started, absentmindedly playing with her food, "We need to talk about how you're going to handle yourself in front of Mr. Caradoc."

Lily didn't even care that she had tried to make fun of him. "What's your plan?"

"Well..."

* * *

"We have another new member today," Dumbledore announced. "She'll introduce herself formally later tonight because today we are changing our strategy. We are working in groups of five instead of pairs and we will be learning new spells to defend and a couple counterjinxes. Let's see here." 

Lily watched curiously as Dumbledore brought out a scroll and adjusted his glasses. He squinted a bit and then started to read. "Miss McKinnon, our newest member, will start the first group. Miss Evans, since you have also recently joined, we'll put you with Miss McKinnon." Lily let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. It was a good thing Marlene wasn't going to be in another group. It would ruin their plan to keep away from _her_. "And..." Dumbledore hesitated. "Miss Meadowes and Mr. Dearborn can join them." Lily inwardly groaned at her name but brightened at his. At least Lily would be able to talk to him even if she was there. Dumbledore read through the scroll and finally said, "And Mr. Potter will join the first group."

That time she did let out a groan. This wasn't going to be easy.

Marlene noticed. "It could be worse," she tried to reconcile her.

"How?" Lily asked exasperatedly.

It took a second for Marlene to shrug. "Dunno actually. Better get into our group."

Sometimes the girl was no help.

Lily followed Marlene over to the corner where Dorcas and Caradoc were already standing. She looked around for James quickly and didn't see him.

"Hi," Marlene muttered her quick greeting at Caradoc with a scowl. She turned back to Lily before Dorcas had a chance to say anything. She softened her voice and said, "So, I guess you should just talk to him. I'll try to get Dorcas away from him."

Looking up at the pair, Lily looked back at Marlene. "Sounds good."

"Okay, everyone."

Irritated at the interruption, Lily looked up to see James at the front of the group. She gave Marlene an exasperated look before they both turned their attention toward him.

James didn't even seem to notice. He continued with what looked like a forced smile. "I guess we can start with introductions since I don't know-" he hesitated for a second. "-_some_ of you."

Lily frowned. Dorcas took this as her chance to go first. "Hello," Dorcas said with a huge smile. "I'm Dorcas Meadowes. I'm in Ravenclaw, 7th year. I currently have an interest in Defense Against the Dark Arts that has stayed with me my entire school career. I'm planning on staying with the Order after school, becoming an auror, and defending the wizarding world."

Marlene and Lily exchanged surprised glances. She really meant business.

James nodded. "Noble cause."

It seriously bugged her the way he was acting. Acting like he was supervisor of the group and taking charge. Lily could have easily done that herself.

She was pulled out of my thoughts by Caradoc clearing his throat. "I am Caradoc Dearborn. Gryffindor, 7th year. My parents have been avid supporters of Dumbledore and upon hearing of this Order, insisted that I would see what it entailed. After I dropped everything frivolous in my life, I made a change to become serious about the Order and here I am today."

Lily saw Marlene send Caradoc a look of complete loathing.

Frivolous. Well, she was going to show him frivolous.

"I'm Lily Evans," Lily cut in, not missing a beat. "I came here because I'm _serious_ about everything I do and I am _serious_ about the Order. I am _serious_ about this cause and I am _serious_ about everything it _entails_. And I'm planning to stay – till the very end." She ended her speech with a very professional arm crossing.

James gave her a strange look before saying, "That's...great, Lily."

It took a second to process that he had called her Lily. Usually, during Head meetings, he wouldn't say her name – at all. Not even Evans like he used to. Lily shook her head and decided to ignore it.

"Uh, hey everyone," Marlene spoke up. "I'm Marlene McKinnon. Gryffindor, 7th year. And I just always wanted to be in the Order. To do something, to help people, to say I did something worthwhile with my life. It appealed to me and I'm glad I'm here." She sent a sideways glance at Caradoc and only Lily heard "sort of" muttered underneath her breath.

James glanced around at the group before introducing himself. "I'm James Potter. I'm a Gryffindor 7th year and I'm here because through my years at Hogwarts, one comment I always heard was to 'grow up'. And...I finally listened this year." With that short introduction, James stole a short glance at Lily and then said, "Let's get started."

They were both exhausted by the time they got back to the dormitory.

Taking off her shoes, Lily looked up to see Marlene watching her carefully. "What?" Lily asked, a bit more abruptly than she intended.

Marlene grinned and exclaimed, "He couldn't take his eyes off of you."

Lily sighed, finally getting her shoes off. "I don't know what you mean. I only caught him staring at Dorcas all night."

Marlene shrugged, finding an elastic band to tie up her hair. Lily waited for her to say something else, but when Marlene didn't, she continued to get ready for bed. Finally, fifteen minutes later, the lights were out and everyone in the dormitory was asleep.

At least Lily thought everyone was asleep.

"Who said I was talking about Caradoc?" a voice said slyly out of the darkness. A chuckle was added at the end for effect.

Lily, half-asleep, took a few seconds to comprehend. "Marlene," she said calmly, "shut up."


	4. Positive

Thought I'd post before _Deathly Hallows_. Only two more days! I'm hoping that huge secret about Lily that will be revealed won't make my stories AU. Oh well. If you are a reader of And Then There Were None, the next chapter is being edited right now.

Enjoy this chapter...even though it's a bit short.

* * *

"She hates me." 

Marlene took a second to comprehend the phrase that penetrated the silence. "Mmm?" she decided to murmur; still not sure about what Lily was talking about.

"I don't know why but she does!" Lily continued to rant, pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace.

Marlene finally looked up from her Potions essay and made a face at Lily. "Mmm?" she muttered yet again.

Lily slumped down on the couch next to Marlene. "She comes in and steals him from me and now she hates me because I'm the ex-girlfriend. God, Marlene, what am I supposed to do? She's always there."

Marlene finally said, "You're being overdramatic, Lily."

Lily just looked at Marlene helplessly. "You're being no help again. Honestly, Marlene, what would you do?"

There was a pause in which Marlene thoughtfully placed her quill on her chin. "Well..." she said slowly, "First of all, I wouldn't put myself in this situation because Caradoc is an-"

"Marlene..." Lily interrupted her exasperatedly. "Seriously."

Marlene shrugged. "I'd probably just wait it out. Let whatever will happen, happen."

Lily sighed dramatically. "But I need a plan..."

Marlene smiled slightly. "You could always go out with James Potter to make Caradoc jealous."

Lily glared at the smiling girl. "An easier and plausible plan, please."

But Marlene was on a roll. "Really. He's totally enthralled with you, Lily. And if you'd just tell him that you want to-"

"_Actually_," Lily cut off Marlene sharply, "Remember, he doesn't care anymore. He's moved on and we can't go back in time to where he was chasing after me. And I like him not bothering me anymore. It's a nice change."

"Let's see..." Marlene brought out a spare piece of parchment. "You have the choices a.) forget about Caradoc, b.) wait it out, c.) use James to make him jealous or d.) create a new plan and leave me out of the next one because I really hate that jerk Caradoc."

"You are not _positive_," Lily reprimanded Marlene; a disapproving frown appearing on her face.

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Right," she said sarcastically, "Keep it positive. Positive. Well, you could probably take Dorcas in a fight. Wait, she's taller than you. Maybe not. You could let out your inner freak around Caradoc. Show him how much fun you are. Oh, wait, you aren't. You'd rather sit here complaining about how you lost Caradoc and refusing all my wonderful ideas."

There was a heavy pause. "Inner freak?" Lily questioned with a small smile.

Marlene grinned. "You know what I'm positive about?"

Lily just stared at Marlene in response.

"That James will help you," Marlene finished with a smug smile.

Lily growled softly. "Stop saying that!"

* * *

Dorcas was pulling on Caradoc's arm. He smiled at her; faces inches apart. She leaned forward, catching his lips in a soft kiss. He smiled at her again.

Lily watched this all from her corner; her jaw set in a hard line.

"We're supposed to be practicing concealment spells," Marlene said, a couple feet away.

Alice, who was working with them that day, followed Lily's gaze. "Old boyfriend?" she guessed sympathetically.

Lily nodded slowly, still not taking her eyes off the couple. They weren't practicing their spells. In fact, they were too busy concentrating on _each other_ than anything else. And Dorcas had yelled at _her_ for not working hard. However, everyone else was too busy working that no one noticed and no one was telling them to stop.

Marlene saw an opportunity and took it. "Alice, you see that boy over there?" She pointed at James, who, at the moment, was talking with Sirius about something.

Alice followed Marlene's gaze. Lily didn't notice; she was still too busy watching Caradoc and Dorcas (he was helping her hold her wand the right way, lingering a bit too long). "James Potter?" Alice said.

Even his name didn't bring Lily out of her reverie.

"That's the one. Now, tell me you don't think this is a good idea..."

A couple minutes later, Alice was grinning at Lily. "You have to!" she announced, obviously giddy over the whole plan.

Lily, who now had her full attention focused on Marlene and Alice, shook her head frantically. "It'll never work. And besides, I don't want to use _him_ like that."

Marlene sighed, rolling her eyes. "Just say his name, Lily. It's not that hard. _James Potter_. Only three syllables."

Lily scowled, ignoring Marlene. "I'm not going to pretend that I'm going out with...the Head Boy."

Marlene threw up her arms in frustration. Alice just grinned amusedly at the situation. "You don't have to go out with him, you know," Alice said wisely.

Lily raised an eyebrow in questioning. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know," Alice said slowly, "You could just...well, get private Order lessons from him or something. Make a big deal out of it. And you sort of need private lessons."

Lily immediately cut in, "I'm one of the best in my year!"

"Then something is obviously distracting you from Order work. You haven't really gotten the hang of anything since you've been here. Use it as an excuse to show off James to your ex-boyfriend."

Lily frowned, but what Alice said had actually made sense to her. It could work. Except for the fact that she would allow James to get close to her. But if it made Caradoc jealous, it would be worth it.

Without even a second thought, Lily started practicing with Marlene and Alice again, but her mind wasn't on the work once more; it was on two different guys, two _very _different guys that she have to tolerate for different reasons.

* * *

There he was, talking with the rest of his friends; Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Lily hesitated, watching them. She didn't want to ask him in front of all of friends. She was going to try to do this in the easiest way possible; get James to teach her for maybe a day, have Caradoc notice, and then dump James as soon as possible.

And the group started off toward the door. Lily saw Marlene intervene, saying something in a whisper to James. James nodded in understanding, letting everyone else leave without him. This was Lily's cue.

Lily quickly strode up to beside him and said, as hastily as possible, "I need your help, James."

Lily noted that his expression was something she had never seen from James Potter. A mix of surprise, amusement, and, maybe, seriousness. He turned to face her and waited for her to go on.

"Do you want to tutor me?" The words slipped from Lily's mouth in almost a jumble. She wanted to get this over with.

James's eyebrows shot up. "In what?" he asked with a disbelieving chuckle.

Lily started to tap her foot impatiently. "Order stuff. I need help with the spells and everything."

James just stared at her. "Why?"

Lily sighed softly, already tired of his questions. "I just need help with it, James. Please?" She had actually resorted to begging. This was bad.

James continued to stare at her. "Okay," he finally said.

"Okay," Lily agreed, relieved that this conversation was finally over.

Lily turned to leave, but found that a hand was holding her back. Forcing herself to put on a smile, she turned back to face James. "Yes?" she asked sweetly.

James looked confused. "Why did you ask _me_?"

Lily shrugged. "Because you're Head Boy," she decided to answer simply.

And before he could hold her back again, she ran away as quickly as she could. Heart hammering loudly and hurriedly against her chest, she wondered what she had just gotten herself into.

* * *

"Hey, Lily."

Lily couldn't believe what she was seeing. Caradoc, actually running up to talk to her. She was dreaming; she had to be. "Um, hi?" Startled, she wasn't sure what to say. She never knew what to say around him anymore.

Caradoc stopped in front of her, smiling that smile of his.

Lily stared.

"I haven't talked to you in awhile. How are you?" He talked to her like it was nothing. But, to Lily, it was everything.

"Well, I've been busy with Order stuff." She couldn't even think straight when he was around. Her mind was becoming clouded and she had to think before forming her words.

Caradoc nodded. "Yeah, Dorcas and I have been busy with it too."

Just with the mention of that girl's name, Lily's mind suddenly cleared. She frowned slightly, shifting uncomfortably. What could she say to that?

Caradoc noticed Lily's discomfort. "Well, I guess I'll get going-"

"I'm getting lessons from James Potter!" Lily blurted out.

The look at her ex-boyfriend's face was worth it. "...What?" he managed to say, his eyes widening.

Lily tried to hide a smile at his reaction. "Yeah," she added, "I'm getting lessons from James Potter for the Order."

With a shocked look, Caradoc nodded slowly. "Um, well, that's great, I guess." He smiled at her and then turned to leave. "I'll see you around."

"Wait-" Lily loudly said, wanting him to stay and hear the rest of her story. Instead, he walked away. Lily looked after him in disappointment. She barely even noticed someone was standing next to her.

It was only until he cleared his throat that she noticed.

"Hey," James greeted her, trying to see what she was looking after.

Lily, regrettably, turned to look at him. Plastering that fake smile on her face again, she initiated a conversation. "Anything new?"

James ran a hand through his hair, making Lily think that he was doing it again to show off. But, in truth, he didn't know what to say to her. "Well, I was thinking about the lessons."

Lily nodded, twiddling her thumbs.

"And I was thinking tonight, eight, in the common room."

It almost sounded like a date. And Lily didn't like the sound of that. But it was for Caradoc. She had already seen how much it bugged him when she mentioned it and if she actually did it...

"Sounds great, James," Lily said with another smile.

James didn't smile back. He just nodded and passed by her, heading toward the common room. Lily took a few seconds to watch him leave.

"He _so_ likes you."

Lily wondered vaguely how long Marlene had been standing there. "You got to stop saying that," Lily reminded her and started to head down the corridor.

Marlene followed. "He never stopped liking you. And he's so much better than Caradoc, Lily. I think-"

Lily, who had scowled throughout Marlene's talk, finally snapped. "Why don't _you_ go out with James if you think he's so amazing?"

Marlene laughed. "Because then you'd be stuck with no one when you realize Caradoc is not for you and James has fallen madly in love with me."

She said it so smoothly Lily wondered if she was being sarcastic or not. "You're a strange one, McKinnon."

"Just keeping it positive," she responded with a bright smile.

* * *

Review and enjoy _Deathly Hallows_ everyone. 


	5. Serious Reprise

My editor is hopefully still working on the next chapter of ATTWN. So just wait.

Posting the next chapter of this story before I go see MuggleCast and The Remus Lupins (yay!). I'm beyond excited...then Harry and the Potters and Draco and the Malfoys on Tuesday!

Okay. Enough fangirling. Onto the chapter...

* * *

"Please just stop complaining!" Marlene rubbed her temples to get rid of the headache. "That's all you seem to be doing lately." 

"How am I supposed to do this?" Lily continued with her normal routine. Pacing, complaining, the whole annoying scheme. Sometimes Marlene wished that Caradoc didn't even break up with Lily in the first place because she wouldn't have this daily headache. At least Marlene didn't have to see the jerk as much.

Marlene finally looked up at Lily from her place on the couch. "I'm going to study or something," she said in a monotone. "Have fun with James tonight."

The way Marlene said her last comment, Lily wasn't sure if she was trying to be witty or not. Lily just decided to nod, taking Marlene's place on the couch.

It was ten minutes until eight and James was still nowhere to be found. He deduced that he probably was still in the corridors or in the dormitory. Lily placed her hands awkwardly in her lap, looking down at them, and just listened to what was going around her.

She heard a couple young children playing some game, giggling and squealing. The crackling of the fire, murmurings of studying, and just normal conversation. And her name being shouted from across the room.

Lily's attention snapped back up and she saw Sirius Black making his way over to her quickly. Raising an eyebrow at him, she greeted him cautiously. "Uh...hey..."

"What the hell are you doing?"

He was angry. Staring at her through narrowed eyes, he growled his question, a frown firmly placed on his face.

Lily didn't expect that. Taken off guard, she couldn't find what to say. "Umm..."

Sirius stopped a safe foot away from her and said, through clenched teeth, "Why would you ask him to give you lessons? You're one of the best in our year!"

Lily shrugged casually. "Alice told me I wasn't getting the hold of anything so I thought-"

Sirius raised his voice dangerously. "So you thought you'd play with my best friend's emotions and ask him to give you lessons when I know you are just using him!?"

Lily shook her head, eyes widening at his conclusion. "I'm not _using_ him. I just thought I could use his help-"

"You're _using_ him for his help!" Sirius explained, clenching his fists angrily. "And giving him false hope. You just can't do that! It's mean, Lily, absolutely _evil_."

Lily frowned, reminding herself to keep breathing, to keep her cool. "You're overreacting, Sirius. Really."

And for the first time in her life, Lily was grateful to catch a glimpse of James coming through the portrait behind Sirius. James spotted the situation Lily and Sirius was in immediately and made his way over.

"I am not-" Sirius started to say but James cut him off.

"Not what?" James entered the conversation with an amused, and somewhat confused, smile.

Sirius stepped back, contemplating on whether or not to leave without an explanation. "Not-" Sirius tried to think of a way out of it. "Not...umm...serious. I'm not serious. See, it's a pun. ...You know, on my name." He weakly chuckled as if he was enjoying his joke.

James looked at Sirius curiously. "You really need new jokes, mate."

Sirius tried to laugh again. "Yeah, I guess I'll go and make up some new ones now." And with a glare directed toward Lily, Sirius turned around and left up the staircase.

There was an awkward pause between the two teenagers left in the room.

"Um," James finally broke it, clearing his throat while sitting down on the couch next to Lily. "So what are you having trouble with then?"

Thinking it through, Lily came up with three things. Her relationship with Caradoc, the Order, and everything.

"Uh, everything?" Lily decided on the last one.

James raised an eyebrow at her. "Okay, then where should we start from there?" he slowly asked.

Lily took in a shaking breath. This was too nerve-wracking even if it was all for getting Caradoc back. "Well, what did we learn at the last meeting?"

"We learned how to conjure a Patronus," James answered simply.

Then she remembered. Well on her way to conjuring one, Lily had caught sight of Caradoc just a couple feet away from her, who had just correctly conjured his Patronus; his was a polar bear. Distracted by the bear Patronus, Lily never actually tried to conjure one herself.

"Lily?" Though, Lily thought, watching Caradoc and his Patronus was worth it. He was caught up in his work and it was very amazing to watch.

"Uh, Lily?"

And he noticed her that day. Turned around and looked right at her with a small smile. Lily, who felt embarrassed that she was caught staring, blushed a bright red and weakly lifted a hand to wave at him.

"Evans?"

But then Dorcas strode over and had to grab Caradoc away. What a-

_Snap_. "Lily, are you okay?" Finally blinking, Lily saw James's face in front of her's. Lily frowned, and wondered what James was doing there.

Wait.

"Sorry. I-I don't feel that well," Lily finally choked out.

James moved back a bit, looking fairly concerned. "Maybe we should reschedule then. You should get some rest."

Still in a daze, Lily nodded, standing up. After some hesitation, James offered Lily to use him for support by holding onto him. They walked over to the staircase and James let her go when Lily grabbed the railing. "I'll see you tomorrow." He took a couple steps back and, almost as a second thought, added, "Get better."

Again, Lily nodded, and made her way up the staircase. Without even thinking, Lily opened the door and walked in, finding her bed and sitting on it.

"Is she in a trance?" Lily faintly heard one of her roommates, Mary, ask.

There was a scuffle. "Um, Lily?" Marlene cautiously sat down next to Lily. "What's wrong?"

Lily opened her mouth to speak. "I miss him," she whispered.

Marlene looked at Lily strangely. "Who?"

Lily brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. In the same whispered voice, she answered, "Caradoc. I can't get through a lesson with James without thinking of him. I can't do it, Marlene. I can't."

Marlene sighed sympathetically."It's to get him back, Lily. You _can_ do it. For him."

Lily took in a shuddering breath. "I just need some sleep to think it over."

* * *

That Friday, the Slug Club was having another one of their parties. Lily slowly made her way to the party, regretting every step she took. The only person she really knew there was the one person she wanted to see – but didn't.

Was Dorcas going to be there? Professor Slughorn didn't say that they could bring dates this time which meant - _should_ mean she wasn't going to be there.

Finally, Lily saw a glimmer of hope. If Dorcas wasn't there, Lily could finally talk to Caradoc without interruption. Maybe it wasn't going to be such a bad day after all.

Walking into the classroom, Lily saw students mingling around nervously, as if the professor might come up and start talking to them. It was a strange environment - these parties - but at least it was a time to get away from all the stress circling outside.

Lily scanned the room, searching for any glimpse of dark hair or grey eyes. And there he was, standing to the side, talking to another person she didn't know.

"Hey, Caradoc," Lily called out, gathering up her courage. She quickly made her way over to him, stopping next to him with a smile.

"Oh, Lily, I was meaning to talk to you!"

Lily had to shake her head and blink a couple times before realizing that he really _actually_ said that. "Really?" she choked out, having to stop herself from breaking out into a huge smile.

Caradoc nodded. "Yeah, let's go over here." He led her over to a secluded corner.

Lily bit her lip and stared up at him, ready for him to apologize and admit they she was really the one for him. Instead, he looked nervous, staring anywhere but her. "So..." Lily tried to speed it up, catching his attention again.

"So...um..." he faltered, and then pressed on to say, "I've been thinking about us...and you. And I get it."

Lily reached out and took one of Caradoc's hands in her's. "You do?" she asked him coyly.

He reassuringly squeezed her hand and nodded. "Yes. I get that you joined the Order for me - to show me that you were serious."

Lily gazed up into his perfect eyes. "Yes," she breathed.

"You don't have to do that," Caradoc said softly.

"I know. I know that I'm serious without proving it to you," Lily hastily said.

Caradoc gave her a strange look. "I'm saying that that's not a good reason to join the Order. It's not proving you're serious. You're not dedicated, Lily. You're not being serious."

Her world came crashing down on her. "You're kidding me," Lily said slowly, dropping his hand, and looking up at Caradoc in shock.

"Don't take it personally-"

"What?" Lily snapped, fury building, "Don't take it personally? You-you-" She didn't know what to say. On one hand, this was the man she grew to love and she wanted him back more than anything. On the other, he was a jerk that thought she wasn't serious.

Caradoc just stood there, staring at Lily, waiting. She used all her energy to breath, in, out. In, out.

"I can't talk to you right now," Lily decided, turning around and getting out of there. Professor Slughorn tried to stop her on the way out, but she was set on getting as far away from Caradoc as possible. Outside the classroom, Lily blindly made her way to the Gryffindor common room, not stopping for anything.

The common room was empty when she went inside since everyone was down at supper. Lily found refuge against the closest wall in the common room, sliding down it and breathing heavily.

"I can't do this anymore," she cried to herself, hiding her face in her hands. All of her instincts told her to cry, but she wasn't going to let her cry over that guy. He wasn't worth her tears.

"Lily?"

Feeling a sense of deja vu, Lily looked up into the hazel eyes of James Potter. But she thought the room was empty-

"What are you doing here?" she managed to ask, forcing herself to look at him instead of hiding again.

James took a seat next to her against the wall. "Wasn't hungry. Aren't you supposed to be at Slughorn's party?"

The way he was talking to her made it very hard for Lily to get mad at him. He sounded genuinely concerned, like the night before. Instead, Lily just sighed. "I didn't want to be there."

Looking over at her, James said softly, "Is something wrong?"

Lily sniffed, and then whispered, "Love."

There was a pause before James spoke. "Excuse me?" he asked, sounding truly confused.

"I put my faith in love," Lily said, a bit stronger, "I followed where it led."

James took a glance around. "Love led you here?"

But Lily paid him no mind and kept going. "To my personal circle of-of..._hell_. I wish I was anywhere but here." She continued rambling, speeding up to where her rant was almost impossible to understand. "I'm not learning anything in the Order. I'm a total laughing stock to him, just someone to mock. Him and his friends and her, that Dorcas girl. I just wish none of this was happening-I wish...I don't even know what I wish..."

"Show him you're serious then," James concluded.

Lily gave James a confused look. "What do you mean?"

James shrugged, looking straight ahead instead of at her. "Continue the lessons with me. Get really good and maybe that ex-boyfriend of your's will see you are serious and want you back."

Lily could have sworn he had trouble with saying the last few words. She stared ahead, following James's lead. "Will that work?"

James nodded. "No doubt. But this time, don't freeze up in the middle of the lesson."

Lily glanced over at him, who was still staring innocently ahead. "Potter..." she warned him, trying to sound menacing, but failing to hide her smile.

* * *

The next chapter I'm really looking forward to. It features the song Chip On My Shoulder from Legally Blonde. It's up on YouTube, I think...maybe not. You can check. And if you listen, you'll see that I started the song already in this chapter. It's going to be a favorite of mine. Especially since the phrase "chip on your shoulder" in offensive over in the UK. 

So...review and I'll put up the next chapter as soon as possible.


	6. Chip On Your Shoulder

My laptop is somewhere in another state so until I get it back, I cannot update ATTWN. So I decided to write this whole chapter onto my family computer (urgh) and upload it for you guys to read until I do get my laptop back. 

And, yes, my Wizard Rock concerts were pretty awesome. The Remus Lupins, though, surpassed them all and became an instant favorite the moment Alex Carpenter started being awesome.

Okay. Chapter time.

* * *

"You know, for this to work, you have to pay attention to me. That's the whole point. _Annnnd_, you're not listening." 

James had failed to mention that not only would she be getting lessons from him, but now she would actually have to converse with him – _like they were getting along. _

At the moment, Lily was sitting with James and his friends at the house table for breakfast. Her eyes settled on something that was not in close vicinity however – she had located Caradoc at the Ravenclaw table, chatting animatedly with his friends. Absentmindedly brushing off every single crumb on her piece of toast, she watched him; her new daily ritual.

"He's going to look over here and find you staring at him. And he won't get jealous that way."

As if she had finally noticed, Lily's eyes widened. "Oh, James. Sorry, I forgot-"

"Forgot I was here, I know," James finished her sentence, not looking the least bit distressed over it. "Anyway, I was talking to Clayton Tressle."

There was an uneasy pause. "Why are you telling me this, James?" Lily asked out of nowhere.

Sirius, who had been watching the whole fiasco from across the table, nearly spit out his drink at Lily's confused tone. Remus gave him a warning look.

James caught a glimpse of Sirius's predicament briefly and a grin flashed across his face before he answered, "He's Caradoc's best friend, remember?"

Lily frowned. When she and Caradoc were going out, they mostly had kept to themselves and she really didn't meet any of his friends. But James needn't know that, so, instead, Lily just nodded.

"And he was talking about this study group that he and Caradoc and some other people are in. It's tonight in the library so-"

"We can have a lesson tonight in the library too," Lily cut in, a smile forming on her face.

"It's sort of scary," Sirius slowly announced, looking creeped out, "that you are finishing each other's sentences."

Another uneasy pause drifted across their table. Lily immediately let her hair fall in front of her face, hoping that would hide her blush.

* * *

"Hey, Evans!" 

It was said more cheerfully than the last time he had shouted her name across the common room. She really hoped he wasn't here to chastise her again.

Sirius took the seat on the couch next to Lily, making her pick out her essay she was working on. "Yes?" she asked cautiously.

"How are you?"

Lily blinked. Did Sirius Black actually come over to ask her how she was? "Uh-" She looked at him, confused, and faltered.

Instead of looking at Lily like she was an idiot for not answering, Sirius grinned. "I admit, the last time we talked I got a bit...carried away. I didn't mean to yell. You still may be using James for your benefit-"

Lily opened her mouth to contradict him, but Sirius stopped her.

"Don't deny it, you _are_, but have you seen how ecstatic it's made him to know that you want _his_ help?"

He _had_ brightened up over the last couple days, Lily realized. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach as she noticed she was giving James false hope. But he didn't like her anymore, right?

"Sirius, James doesn't...uh-_like_ me anymore, does he?" Lily found herself saying.

Sirius just shrugged in response. "Hey, if it's not obvious to you, then it not worth answering." He left her with a knowing look.

He didn't-he couldn't-he _definitely_ didn't like her anymore.

* * *

James didn't mention that _she_ was a part of this study group that Caradoc was in. And now she had to look at them through the entire lesson and watch their antics. 

Lily wanted to throw up.

"You do have to look at me sometime," a voice interrupted her thoughts about Caradoc.

Once again, for it had to be the millionth time that day, James had to bring her out of her reverie. "I know." Lily looked over at James, who was staring at her intensely.

"Okay, do you want to work on the Patronus charm first?" James asked her, leaning forward.

Lily, who really didn't feel like working and instead just wanted to make Caradoc as jealous as possible, quickly changed the subject. "Why did you join?"

James blinked. "What?"

Lily kept on. "Why did you join the Order? Was it just because all your friends did or did you want to be a heroic figure or something?"

James shrugged, leaning back into his chair. "My friends joining were a part of it. But, mainly, I wanted to help with the war, you know. And I got a chance when I heard about the Order. I knew this was the way to help."

Lily stared at him and meekly nodded.

"I know you just joined because of _him_." James jerked his head toward Caradoc's group. "It's perfectly fine but what are you going to do about all this work? And you're officially in the Order now, Lily. You can't just get out."

His comments made her frown. "I'm serious about this, James," she announced.

He actually snorted at her proclamation. "Really, are you now?"

Now she knew why she could never stand him before. Lily took a deep breath and crossed her arms. "Just because-I don't know-I'm not as _dedicated_ as you are, doesn't mean that you have to reprimand me. You-you act-" Lily couldn't quite find the correct phrase. "Act like you have a...chip on your shoulder or something."

James laughed out loud. "A chip on my shoulder? Are you trying to insult me, Evans?" He said it amusedly, as if this whole thing was trivial.

"You do!" Lily pointed out. "You have a stupid chip on your shoulder that tells you that you always have to do the best and do it right and not give up and be so bloody annoying!"

James managed to hide his grin at her words. "You are _really_ getting worked up over this."

Lily huffed. "I'm pointing out the obvious," she concluded, sitting back.

James chuckled. "Maybe you're right." Lily gave him a dubious look and James continued. "Maybe I do have a "chip on my shoulder", as you so eloquently put it. But I'm not going to waste my time not being dedicated to this. It's a good thing there's a chip on my shoulder. And maybe you should get one as well."

Lily's eyes widened. "What are you talking about?"

James continued to explain calmly. "With a chip on your shoulder, you can show Caradoc you're _serious_ and you get through this easier than what you have been doing."

The girl across from him sighed. "Then how do you do it?" she asked softly.

James shrugged. "Well, I changed my attitude about everything." He got up swiftly from his seat and walked over to Lily. Stopping by her chair, he kneeled down, and pointed over to the boy Lily found herself staring at again. "And that's your first obstacle."

Throwing a glance over at James who was now mere centimeters away from her, Lily said, "Why is he an obstacle?" And then went back to looking at the boy who broke her heart.

It happened after a pause. Lily suddenly found herself looking not at Caradoc, but instead, into James's hazel eyes. James had actually grabbed Lily's face and directed her attention, and vision, onto him. "Because you keep staring at him," James said, slowly and clearly. "And you're supposed to be paying attention to, I don't know, the person you are working with."

Lily took a second to just stare back at him. "Fine then," she finally gave in, moving out of James's grip. "I won't look at him." Even as she said it, Lily knew it wouldn't be true.

But James saw that beforehand. He stood up, grinned, and said, "Okay then. Switch me seats."

Lily made a sound of protest and stood up too. "No! If I sit over there-"

"You won't be facing him," James finished for her, looking very smug that he had foiled her plan.

Lily gave James an angry look, moving to switch seats with protesting grumbles on the way. She finally slumped down in the seat facing a bookcase and James and crossed her arms at the very fact.

James smiled at her. "Now that I have your full attention, we must address the fact that you are not dedicated at all to this Order."

Still frowning, Lily said, "I'm sorry, I'm working, I really am. I'll work harder from now on."

James nodded. "Because you're not doing this for yourself anymore. You're doing this for the whole wizarding world. And you have the skills to become one of the Order's most talented people if you tried."

"Really?" Lily raised an eyebrow at his compliment.

"And that's why we're going to work extra hard with extra lessons." James smiled briefly at the look on Lily's face. "And I'm going to get Marlene on this too. She'll work with you." Lily stared at him incredulously. And just because, James added, "And no talking to Caradoc for at least three full days."

Lily frowned because she couldn't find the right words to say to him.

James grinned. "Just think about how much fun we're going to have," he exclaimed happily.

Only a growl answered him.

* * *

"It's only eight thirty, Lily," Marlene pointed out. 

But Lily was already half passed out on the Gryffindor common room couch. She curled up and yawned, "I've been working with James for three straight days. And he's even got Remus and Sirius in on it --- coming up to me randomly during meals. And now you want to work after my long battle with them."

"Hey, you're the one that agreed you wanted to do this to make Caradoc jealous," Marlene proclaimed.

Lily finally sat up, pointing an accusing finger at Marlene. "Oh no, this is not just making Caradoc jealous anymore. This is making me the best Order member ever – or something to that extent."

Marlene thought it over. "Same thing," she said, "Because this will definitely get Caradoc to notice. In fact, I heard him talking to Dorcas about it at supper."

And suddenly, Lily was wide awake. "What did he say? I haven't been able to talk to him at all for the past three days because of _Professor Potter_." She rolled her eyes.

Marlene shrugged casually. "He was just saying about how you seem to be taking the Order more seriously than he thought."

A slow smile appeared on Lily's face. "It's working..."

"I guess. But he's still all over that Dorcas girl. He's just noticing you some more."

But Lily wouldn't have any of that. The fact that Caradoc was actually paying attention to Lily was enough. She was getting somewhere. The only problem was that she had James Potter to thank for that.

And tomorrow – tomorrow she could finally talk to Caradoc again.

* * *

With a look of pure excitement, Lily made her way over to the Ravenclaw table the next morning, ready to talk to Caradoc about the new improvements. "Oh, Caradoc." 

He noticed her, turning around in his seat and gave her a small smile. "Hey, Lily. I haven't talked to you much lately."

Lily immediately took the empty seat next to him. "I know. But I've been busy with the Order. Learning spells. Getting extra practice in. Just because I'm so dedicated."

Caradoc just stared at her, mouth open as if he was going to say something, but Lily continued in a falsely sweet voice.

"In fact, it's like I've got, I don't know, a chip on my shoulder or something. I'm really glad to be of help during times like this. It's so exciting and-" Lily continued to babble on as Caradoc continued to look at her with a strange expression on his face.

"Lily," he finally managed to say.

Lily smiled. "Yes?"

Caradoc looked uneasy for a second and then blurted out, "Are you drunk?"

It was as if he had slapped her across the face. Louder than she intended, Lily yelped, "What?!"

Caradoc looked lost and said, "Have you gotten into some firewhisky or something, Lily? You just -- honestly sound crazy right now."

"But-" Lily said, stumbling on her words. He just called her drunk. He thought she was _drunk. _And he thought she was crazy. Crazy _and_ drunk. Lily stood there, staring at Caradoc, mouth agape, unaware of how ridiculous she looked.

"Lily?" That wasn't Caradoc's voice. Lily turned slightly to find James next to her, peering at her quizzically.

Lily managed to look from Caradoc to James but still couldn't find her voice to speak what was going on.

"Uh, I have to go," Caradoc said loudly, getting up from the uncomfortable situation and leaving the Great Hall quicker than usual.

"Uh, Lily?" With no response, James sat in Caradoc's vacated seat and turned her to face him. "I don't know if you noticed before but each time you talk to Caradoc, he makes it seem like your IQ is forty – maybe less."

"Hmm?" Lily still seemed a bit dazed from Caradoc's comments.

James ventured on. "Though it's not really my business to say this, but could it be the real thing in your way is the very guy you're trying to impress?"

Lily blinked. If Caradoc weren't ever there at meetings, she would have mastered all spells. If he didn't have these conversations with her, she wouldn't second guess everything. If it weren't for him, she wouldn't be in this situation right now.

"Yes," Lily breathed, looking to James; her eyes lighting up as if she had an epiphany. "I've been smiling and being sweet and acting all not me. I'm chasing him away. I need to face him and not let him hold me back. He's taken my pride. Made me think twice about things. And what for? He needs to learn the world doesn't revolve around him. I'm going to do this without him..."

James nodded, a satisfied smile crossing his face. "And _now, _Miss Lily Evans, there's a chip on your shoulder."

Lily smirked, and said with a challenging chuckle, "Let's see him knock it aside."

* * *

I just realized that I need to do something to the plot because at the pace I'm going, there would only be like 4 more chapter. Well, I'll figure it out. 

Until then, review. I'll see you in the next chapter hopefully soon.


	7. So Much Better

If you've been following my updates on my profile, right now you should be going "YOU'RE UPDATING?!" Yes, I am.

If you haven't, here's what happened: My laptop was sent away because a button was loose. They kept it for a month. They kept telling us we would get it back and we never did. They wanted to destroy it. I told them to back up my hard drive and then destroy it and send me a new laptop. And the newest update in the saga: They officially lost my laptop and I'm never getting it back. So, all my stories are lost. Including And Then There Were None. To the readers of ATTWN, chapter five needs to be rewritten, edited, and then posted. It might be awhile yet.

I told myself I was going to mourn over all of my lost stories, but I had extra time at college because my roomie is in class, she lent me her laptop, and I have nothing to do until she gets back.

So here's chapter seven. Enjoy!

Oh, and **WARNING. LITTLE DH SPOILER.**

* * *

"What time is it?" a tired Lily Evans sleepily asked late one night. 

There was a pause and a rustling. "Hmm...one," an answer finally came in an equally tired yawn.

"We should start packing up," Lily said logically, finally sitting up for her lounging spot on the couch.

James watched her with unfocused eyes. "We have to finish the-" James stopped as a yawn interrupted his sentence. "-the Patronus charm," he finished, slumping back into his seat across from her.

"I'm too tired," Lily said, placing a hand on her head to stop herself from falling back down.

"One more time," James countered, blinking a couple times to get his vision back. "And then we can sleep."

Lily sighed. "I can't think of something happy when all I'm thinking of is sleep."

James chuckled softly. "Think of peaceful sleep then."

They had been practicing the Patronus charm for the past couple weeks. Lily could conjure one, a wispy silver mist, but it hadn't taken a shape yet. She knew that she was almost there but she was just too tired to try again.

Lily straightened up and cleared her throat dramatically.

What could she think of this time? She had been thinking of Caradoc lately – even though she had stopped thinking of him all the time, she just couldn't help it sometimes. She thought of him briefly and then shook her head slightly. He wasn't strong enough.

What else? Her family. Her friends. Nothing stood out. She couldn't think of something strong enough. She was just too tired.

"James, I can't think of something right now. Sleep is the only thing on my mind." She looked up at him.

He looked weary from the lack of sleep and as if he was going to tip over at any second. He had his head tilted and only his hand was holding him up. He was watching her carefully however. "Just once?" he pleaded again, giving her a tired smile.

Lily gave him an exasperated look.

He just continued to smile back at her.

James had proved himself to be a great teacher. He kept her focused on the task at hand and never once had Lily found herself regretting asking him to tutor her. He had definitely changed from how she remembered him from fifth year.

Lily thought and then said strongly, "_Expecto Patronum_!"

There was a moment of silence after the brilliant beautiful doe erupted from her wand. Both stared at it, wide-eyed and in awe of such a creature.

"It's a doe," Lily whispered, a smile making its way onto her face.

James was staring ahead at the doe, not even bothering to look at Lily as she spoke. He was transfixed on the silver animal, watching it carefully and with a slightly opened mouth.

"It is," he finally commented, also speaking in a hushed whisper. He still hadn't dared to move his gaze away from the doe that was pawing at the ground. Finally, the doe vanished in a wisp of smoke and another bout of silence ensued.

Lily turned to look at James who was staring ahead at where the doe had been. Finally, he glanced her way, breaking out of his transfixed state. He was looking at her differently and she didn't understand why. There was an emotion in his eyes that she couldn't place.

"Why?" James asked softly.

Lily waited a second before answering. She didn't know exactly what he was asking but she thought it had to be why her Patronus was a doe. "I just like forest animals. Deer were always my favorite I guess."

James blinked once and then looked down at the books in his lap. "Okay." He nodded.

Lily wondered why it had shaken him up like that. It was only a Patronus.

Suddenly, Lily realized that she had finally conjured a full Patronus. She bit her lip to hold back her smile and knew that he would never hold her back again.

* * *

The end of the latest Order meeting was winding down quickly. Dumbledore had insisted that they once again were to work on Patronuses. It was an easy meeting for both Lily and James and they spent most of the time helping their fellow Order members. 

"He can't even get it right," Marlene exclaimed suddenly.

Lily gave her a strange look. "What are you talking about?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

"Take a look over there," Marlene announced, pointing over to the other side of the room.

Caradoc was working with Dorcas as usual but today, Caradoc was having trouble conjuring even a weak Patronus.

Lily had to grin. "He's really struggling," she said somewhat happily. Even though it was amusing to see her ex-boyfriend fail, she felt the stabbings of guilt. Maybe she still had feelings for him. She didn't really want him to fail.

"Maybe I should go help him," Lily found herself suggesting.

Marlene looked over at Lily with wide shocked eyes. "Oh, no. No no no no no. Don't start this again."

Lily tried to keep on a straight face. "I just want to help him. Not declare my love for him."

Marlene grimaced at such a thought. "Fine," she caved in, an air of disapproval in her tone, "Go over there. But, just to warn you, Dorcas will probably not even let you get near Caradoc. They're inseparable."

Lily frowned. "They've only been going for two months. It's not that serious."

Marlene paused before saying, "Well, they look serious to me."

Just by watching the two, Lily couldn't even dream going over there and helping Caradoc anymore. She continued to frown watching this, and Marlene wisely decided not to speak up about how she was wistfully staring in their direction.

"I think we're supposed to be working on Patronuses."

Interrupting her thoughts, Sirius Black came grinning into view. Her attention was immediately transferred from Caradoc to the Marauder who was also not working on his Patronus.

Marlene looked at him. "You're not," she pointed out. "Besides, we're talking about personal matters."

"You're talking about Caradoc Dearborn," Sirius quickly said.

Lily blinked and shook her head. "I don't want to know why you know that."

Sirius put his hands together and tilted his head to try to look menacing. "I know everything," he spoke in a low voice.

"Anyway," Marlene said loudly. "Back to _working_."

Lily sighed and tried to think of something happy. Racking through her thoughts, she found herself enjoying a rather happy one. "_Expecto Patronum_!"

The familiar silver doe appeared once again. Both Sirius and Marlene stopped what they were doing to marvel at the beauty of the creature.

"I didn't know James was that great of a tutor," Sirius commented as soon as it went away, staring wide-eyed at Lily.

"That was amazing," Marlene added. "Those lessons are really paying off."

Lily decided to play it off nonchalantly. "I've had less on my mind the past couple weeks."

"Nice job, Miss Evans." Lily turned around to see the headmaster standing behind her, a small smile playing on his face.

"Thank you." Lily had to fight really hard to keep herself from smiling like an idiot. Even Caradoc had noticed her Patronus. He was looking over at the group, surprise lighted up in his eyes.

"Lily, that was impressive." Remus and Peter had joined in the group by the time she had turned her gaze away from Caradoc. Remus was smiling at her after his compliment while Peter just stood, staring at where the doe used to be.

Faintly, Lily wondered where James was.

"Members." Lily looked up to the front of the room to see Dumbledore addressing the Order. "As you well may know, the war is becoming increasingly more difficult. I have discussed this among the older members of the Order and we have agreed to take four students on an assignment after school ends."

A murmur of excitement filled the room.

"One of you will be the leader of the assignment but all four will work together. This is a dangerous assignment, especially for students, but I believe you all have the skills to make it through. However, I will only take the four that I believe are ready for this assignment. If you do not get it, it does not mean that you are inferior. There are certain skills and traits that are applicable to this assignment and those showing the correct ones will be my choice."

Caradoc took this moment to raise his hand. "When will we know?"

Dumbledore took a moment to answer, leaving an anxious pause in the room. "I already have chosen the four. I believe right now will be the right moment to let you know and prepare."

Another excited outburst came from the students. Marlene turned to Lily and whispered, "I hope that the perfect couple doesn't get it."

Lily had to chuckle at Marlene's tone. "I don't know. It will probably be the ones that have been in the Order for awhile."

She then noticed that Caradoc was speaking to Dorcas and it looked very serious, to say the least. Grabbing Marlene's arm, both of them started to inch closer to the couple. She was finally in hearing range when she stopped abruptly.

"I just want you to know that it doesn't matter if we get this assignment. Because I love you and I want to be with you." Caradoc took a deep breath before uttering four very serious words.

"Will you marry me?"

Dorcas didn't waste any time before squealing her happy answer and throwing herself in her now fiancé's arms.

Lily watched this all with a broken heart. She told herself to just keep breathing and maybe her chest would stop aching.

She had lost.

The entire time she told herself that if she was patient, he would love her again. She thought that he would come to respect her mind and at least he would _love_ her.

She turned her whole world upside down for him. For one person. For the person she _loved_. She didn't want to let him go yet. Watching him walk away felt like a fatal blow.

"And...Lily Evans."

Breaking out of her dazed state, Lily looked up, startled. "What?" she asked out loud, turning to Marlene.

Marlene looked back at her with a giddy look. "You got it!"

It was then that Lily realized that there _were_ three more important words than what she wanted to hear from Caradoc.

She got the assignment. Lily Evans did.

The trivial things didn't matter anymore. Caradoc didn't. Dorcas didn't. Nothing mattered. All that mattered was that she got it. She got something that only three other people did. It deemed her worthy. Worthy for something more than _him_.

But maybe she was dreaming. It was just too good to be true. She couldn't possibly be awake. If she was dreaming, how would she know?

"I guess we'll be working together."

Lily looked up at James and truly smiled. "I guess we will." He made to leave but Lily stopped him by a hand on the shoulder. He turned around and looked at her with a puzzling look. "Thank you," Lily said.

James grinned. "You're welcome." And then he disappeared to find the rest of his friends.

Marlene watched this all from behind Lily. "You guys are so cute," she announced, nodding.

Lily just shook her head and noticed Caradoc talking to Dorcas.

"Excuse me," Lily said to Marlene and began to walk over to the two of them. "Caradoc!" she called in a sweet voice.

Dorcas turned to her with an evil look. Caradoc just looked confused. "Lily?" he asked cautiously.

Lily stopped in front of him. "I just want to say that I'm sorry if you've seen me as a pest or anything. It's all right. I've realized that I'm better off without you anyway."

Caradoc's mouth dropped open. "What?" He seemed appalled at such an idea.

"Remember our first kiss?" Lily changed the subject.

Caradoc looked over worryingly at Dorcas before slowly answering, "Yes."

Lily grinned. "This is so much better than that."

The look on their faces was worth it.

* * *

Next chapter to be out whenever. I don't have a computer at college and I have college classes and all that stuff. I'll try though. 

Review?


	8. Your Chance to Make It

Somehow, I found a way to fit Whipped Into Shape in this story. You're going to think it's very random, but it's there. This chapter had both the songs Whipped Into Shape and Take it Like a Man. Take it Like a Man is more of an inspiration for this chapter than actually being in it, however.

Anyway, enjoy.

* * *

Lily was greeted with a strange sight the Saturday morning after the meeting. She didn't know if it was another prank by the Marauders (they had cut down a bit this year though) or if they had finally snapped. 

She hoped it was the first one.

Sirius, Remus, Peter, and even James were standing in the middle of the common room – no, scratch that – they were jumping in the middle of the common room.

Jump roping.

Marlene took this moment to walk up behind Lily and marvel at the sight that also graced her vision. "What the-" she finally commented. Lily looked over to see Marlene raising a questioning eyebrow at the group.

"Exactly," Lily added, a similar look of confusion on her face.

The jump roping group didn't even notice that the whole common room was staring at them.

"Come on, guys, whip it into shape!" Sirius shouted, jumping over the rope that Remus and Peter were twirling. James was jumping next to Sirius, trying to jump sideways.

"Uh...guys?" Marlene finally asked them, taking a step forward.

Sirius and James almost tripped over the rope as Remus and Peter immediately stopped. It got tangled around Sirius's feet and he hopped up and down, trying to get it off. He looked up, and said, with as much of a charming smile you can muster while hopping up and down, "What can I do for you lovely ladies, today?"

Marlene and Lily watched him strangely as the rest of the group didn't say anything, standing there as if they weren't just jump roping. "Why?" they asked together; the one word said with the utmost confusion and curiosity.

Sirius answered first, finally ridding himself of the rope. "We're getting whipped into shape!"

Lily blinked. "What?" she asked in disbelief.

Luckily, Remus stepped in. "What Sirius means is that we are testing our reflexes and strength. It's a strategy we came up with to help us with the Order."

Lily breathed a sigh of relief, placing a hand on her heart dramatically. "Oh, thank god, I was worried there."

James had to grin. "It looks strange but it's a really fun way to practice."

Sirius showed off his muscles. "And it gets us whipped into shape."

Marlene chuckled and said, "Oh, yes, I'm sure the ladies really love a man who jump ropes."

Sirius didn't even falter. "Of course they do. God, McKinnon, don't you know anything?"

"I guess not," Marlene replied sarcastically with a shrug.

"Are you guys done jump roping for today?" Lily asked, changing the subject away from Sirius and muscles. "Because I think you're really scaring the first years."

Over in the corner, a group of little first years sat huddled together, sending frightened glances their way.

James laughed. "All right. We're done. We were planning to leave for lunch anyway."

The group scrambled to put away the rope without tangling it as Lily and Marlene watched in amusement.

"Bloody thing," Sirius was muttering as the rope tangled in many knots. Giving up, he simply set it down and charmed it to put itself away.

"Hey, I'll meet you later-" The group was interrupted as Caradoc shouted to his friend, Clayton, across the room and walked right backwards into Lily. He briefly looked over at her and said offhandedly, "Oh, sorry" and rushed away.

There was an uneasy pause after the run-in.

Lily looked after him and everyone waited for her lament. "So, umm...ready for lunch?" Lily said instead, turning back to the group.

Sirius said quickly, "He's a prat."

Lily just gave him a confused look. "Who?"

Another pause. "You mean," James started cautiously. "You don't know?"

Lily shrugged. "Nope. Let's go to lunch now." She made her way to the portrait hole, without even a second glance back.

The rest of the group watched after her. "Has she-?" Remus tried.

"Is she-?" Sirius added.

"I think-" Peter joined in.

Marlene was just grinning, shaking her head after the girl.

James finished their sentences. "She's finally moved on," he announced to the group with a grin.

* * *

Lily calmly sat in the middle of the group as they all stared at her. 

"Marlene, can you pass me a roll?" she asked the staring girl next to her. Without even looking away from Lily, Marlene reached behind her and grabbed the basket, setting it down in front of Lily.

Lily smiled at Marlene and said a quiet thank you.

"Um...Lily?" James finally spoke up.

"Yes, James?" she answered casually, buttering her roll.

James hesitated before saying, "You, well...are you and Caradoc...?"

Lily smiled. "He's engaged, James. I don't even care."

Everyone blinked. "You...don't...?" Sirius asked, remembering what Lily said about being in love with him.

Lily shrugged. "I really don't."

Sirius looked at Lily at shock and then nudged James. James looked over at him in confusion. Sirius gestured over to Lily wildly. James looked at Sirius like he was crazy.

"Lily," Remus spoke up, and Lily looked over at him. "Are you having a lesson with James tonight?"

The girl looked at Remus and shook her head. "It's Saturday. We don't practice on the week-ends."

Remus smiled softly. "Well, James was telling me that he's planning another lesson tonight. Right, James?"

James blinked and then nodded. "Oh, yeah. So do you want meet in the common room at eight or somewhere around that time?"

Lily paused, thinking it through. He seemed like he didn't even know about it. But maybe he just forgot for a moment. "Eight sounds great," she finally decided, getting up and leaving with a smile.

She definitely expected Marlene to follow her. She didn't expect her next words to come out of her mouth.

"I cannot believe you have a date with James Potter."

Lily's eyes widened and she whipped around to face Marlene. "What are you talking about?" Lily asked in a higher pitched voice than usual.

Marlene looked at Lily like it was obvious. "Remember? Eight, tonight?"

Lily shook her head. "Oh, that's a _lesson_. We've already had a lot of those, as you know."

The brunette just grinned. "A Saturday lesson?"

"Just because it's on a weekend doesn't make it any more special," Lily reasoned, crossing her arms.

"You know, I don't know what you're so worked up about. If I was in your shoes, I'd-"

Lily held up a hand to cut Marlene off. "Please don't finish that sentence, Marlene."

"It doesn't matter anyway. If you're not there, none of them notice me," Marlene told Lily.

Lily gave Marlene a quizzical look. "Of course they do."

Marlene chuckled. "You've never been around. I'll prove it to you."

As they walked down the corridor in silence, Lily began to wonder if Marlene was right about James and the "date" after all...

* * *

James was sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, talking to Sirius, at ten minutes till eight. Lily watched this all from the top of the staircase, peering over at random intervals. 

Marlene had abandoned Lily a couple minutes before, proclaiming that she was going to prove to Lily that the guys never did notice her.

Lily could see some third years, Mary (her other roommate), and Marlene who was sitting across from Sirius and James. They hadn't looked up at the brunette yet.

Lily's mind began to wander. Why did Marlene have to put the idea in her head?

James definitely didn't mean for this to be a date. He hadn't even asked her out on one since last year. Marlene was jumping to conclusions. But Sirius's words were ringing through her head from that first meeting.

..._When my friend is head over heels for you..._

It scared her.

Maybe it was just another lesson. Maybe she was overreacting.

And there was only one way to find out.

Quickly, Lily made her way down the staircase and over to the group by the fire. Marlene looked up at her and Lily noticed she was fighting a smile back. Giving Marlene a warning look, Lily turned to James with a smile.

"Hey," James greeted her, duplicating her smile.

Lily sat down in the other chair facing the boys. "So, what are we learning about today?" she asked.

Lily noticed that Sirius was watching them interestedly. She gave him a look and he shrunk back into the couch. She looked to the other side to see Marlene looking up periodically over her parchment.

James didn't notice. "It's a secret."

Lily noticed her heart rate sped up. "A secret?" She raised an eyebrow at him, obviously intrigued but worried at the same time.

James just grinned.

"Have fun, you two," Marlene spoke up.

Proving Marlene's point, Sirius looked over at her and said, "Oh, Marlene, how long have you been sitting there?"

Marlene just looked at him, refusing to dignify that with an answer and then turned to Lily as if to say "I told you so".

"So, ready to go?" James asked.

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "Where?"

James didn't answer, just stood up and motioned for her to follow him. With a bit of hesitation (and looking toward Marlene to plead "save me" with her answer being a smile), Lily followed him out of the common room.

Lily followed James down to the first floor and then out of the great oak doors onto the grounds. "Uh, James-" Lily started, looking around at the slightly darkened grounds.

James looked over at her. "Yes?"

Lily wondered what to ask him. She had many questions on her mind, including "what is this lesson about?". But she didn't want to come right out and say it if she was wrong about her assumptions. Well, Marlene's assumptions. "We aren't supposed to be out here. It's after curfew."

James chuckled. "That's part of the fun, don't you think?"

Lily crossed her arms, shrinking back into her cloak for warmth, hiding from the cold November weather.

After a couple moments of silence, Lily realized what they were walking toward. "What are we doing out here? How can we have a lesson here?"

"I'm going to teach you how to look at things from a different perspective," James said wisely, stopping in the middle of their destination.

Both of them stood in front of the broomshed to the side of the Quidditch pitch. Lily's eyes widened as James opened the door and pulled out a broomstick.

"Oh, no, you're kidding me, right?" she asked him.

James grinned. "It's a part of your lesson. We're in the interactive part of it now."

Lily shook her head furiously. "Absolutely no way, James. I'm not riding one of those."

James just looked at her with an amused expression. "You're not afraid of heights, are you?" he asked suddenly.

"No," Lily responded, rolling her eyes. "Last summer, I actually went on a hot air balloon ride."

James frowned. "What-"

Lily cut him off. "Never mind. I just don't get how this has to do with a lesson."

She noticed he was smiling at her now. "What I just think you need a break?"

Was Marlene right? Lily started to worry again. She didn't know if James noticed but he had quickly cut in. "It's like a thank you from me for sticking with me. Personally, I would have given up on my own lessons by now. And you've been working hard. You deserve something."

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "So you're giving me a broom ride?"

"Is that a yes or a no?"

The way he was looking at her, pleadingly, made Lily forget all her worries and doubts. She found herself smiling back at him against her own judgment. "What do you think?"

Lily hadn't been on a broomstick since first year when they tried to teach all the first years to fly. She wasn't that bad at it, but still wasn't good, and since then, she hadn't even picked up a broom. And now she was about to get on one with James Potter.

"Sit here," he instructed her, getting in front of her. "And hold on. I don't want you to fall off and hurt yourself."

Cautiously, Lily reached out and placed her hands on either side of James's waist.

James looked back at her with that grin again. "Ready?"

"I guess so," Lily responded, now the fear of falling off in her head.

She wasn't expecting the jolt she got when they first lifted off. It was a rush, a freedom, and whooshing that rang in her ears.

She clutched even tighter onto James as they flew up into the air and headed toward the Whomping Willow.

"See!" James shouted over the wind. "The Whomping Willow is violent on the ground but up here, it looks almost normal."

Lily had to admit that the silent and unmoving tree looked docile.

James maneuvered the broom to fly over the high towers of the castle. "And up here, the castle looks minuscule. But we know it isn't."

Lily agreed to herself. James was right.

After flying around the lake (that looked almost like a bottomless pit) and the pitch, they finally landed to a stop on the ground.

"You were right," Lily announced with a smile.

James, who was walking over to the broomshed to store the broomstick, looked back. "About?"

"The whole different perspective thing. It's true."

James nodded. "It is."

They made their way silently back up to the castle, watching for any teachers or staff that would catch them out after curfew.

Once inside the doors, Lily breathed a sigh of relief when she saw no one. They wouldn't get in trouble after all.

"I believe I hear footsteps around here."

Lily turned to James in fear. She recognized the voice. It was Filch, the care-taker, making his nightly rounds. She couldn't get caught. _They_ couldn't get caught. They were Head Boy and Girl. They were supposed to uphold the rules, not break them.

"James, what do we do?" Lily hissed, frantically.

James looked around quickly, trying to find somewhere to hide. "In here," he suddenly whispered, pulling Lily into the closest hiding place he could find.

Pressed against James uncomfortably, Lily realized she was in a broomcloset. She looked up to see James staring back at her.

And the way James was looking at her, she knew that she had been wrong the entire time.

He had never gotten over her.

* * *

Yes! An attempt at a cliffhanger! Review to find out what happens. Thanks a bunch!

Chapter six of ATTWN to come out soon.

And I'm going to try to find a way to also fit There! Right! There! in this story. Doubt it though.


	9. Bend and Snap

There are THREE inside jokes in this chapter. If you get them, great! If you don't, they will be explained at the end of the chapter.

Enjoy.

* * *

Lily wondered briefly what it would feel like if James really did...something.

But it was James Potter. She couldn't think like that. She couldn't... She looked into his eyes and became distracted by the way he was definitely thinking of her like that.

It was quiet, just the sound of their breathing. His hands were still on Lily's arms from when he had pushed her into the closet. She couldn't see him, only his eyes that shone brightly, telling her he was getting closer...and closer with every anxious second.

When she felt his breath on her face, Lily finally found the strength to murmur, "Uh-James?"

James only made a "mmm" sound in response, making Lily's heart race.

"I'm pretty sure that Filch is done now," Lily said, beginning to panic.

He was right there. Only a couple more inches and...

"James – I – I'm really claustrophobic," Lily tried again, voice rising a couple pitches.

Blindly, Lily reached behind her for the door. Finally fumbling over the door knob, she clutched it and turned it quickly, throwing open the door. The light flooded inside, making her blink uncomfortably.

She could see James staring back at her, a confused look gracing his features.

Lily opened her mouth to tell him _something_ but with a shake of the head, she dismissed the thought, turning and fleeing as fast as she could.

It wasn't fast enough, for James caught up with her and stopped her by putting his hands on her shoulders. She was caught.

"Lily, what's wrong?"

Did he not see it? Was she imagining it the whole time? Was she imagining him getting closer and closer until she could see the gold specks reflecting in his eyes? Did she imagine the look in his eyes telling her 'I want you'? Did she imagine the _whole thing_?

He looked at her with concern. He didn't even look like he knew what was going on.

Didn't he _feel_ it?

Lily took a huge breath and said, as calmly as she could, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

* * *

It had been a month since the "broomclosest incident"; the whole thing permanently etched in Lily's mind. It was a Wednesday morning and Lily had gotten the permission to miss a class of Potions to finish her Head duties. She always knew Slughorn liked her and when she realized she had been slacking on the duties since the incident, she had asked him for the morning off. He had easily given it to her. 

Lily thought about the other half of her team – James.

They hadn't talked about the whole incident, which had caused a strained "relationship" between them.

Lily visibly cringed when she thought of the word "relationship". It had been no more than friendship between her and James but the way the word "relationship" was used, it made her think otherwise. They had gone backwards since the incident.

Marlene noticed it soon enough. Lily didn't mention it to her, afraid of her reaction. But it wasn't as if Marlene already knew.

Reminded of Marlene, Lily got up from the couch in the common room and made her way out of the portrait. She checked the corridors for her friend, finally spotting her walking in the direction of the dormitories, struggling with her bookbag.

"Hey, Marlene!" Lily shouted to catch her attention.

Marlene finally looked up and sighed. "Oh, Lily. I was just about to find you."

Lily smiled at Marlene as she finally got control of her bag. "So, how was class today? I'm really sorry about missing."

Marlene seemed half amused, half not. "Well, we learned how to...um, _bread_ potions," she said slowly, watching as Lily looked back at her with a blank expression.

Finally, Lily raised an eyebrow to convey her puzzlement. "What?"

Marlene shrugged. "I don't know. Slughorn came in and announced that he wanted lunch. So...we made lunch...by breading potions."

Lily grinned. "Yeah, I can see Slughorn doing that. So, how was it? Hard?"

Marlene's expression darkened. "Because you weren't there, everyone else was already paired up, so I didn't get a partner to work with."

Lily's eyes widened. "You're joking."

Marlene sighed in desperation. "I wish I was. Seriously, it's times like this where I begin to really think I'm invisible."

"You're not. You just need to start..." Lily faltered, trying to think of the right word. "-to...get noticed more." She cringed as she finished her statement.

Marlene looked at Lily with a half smile. "Nice try."

Mary McDonald took this time to turn the corner. "Hey. What's going on?" she exclaimed, catching only the ending of their conversation.

Marlene just dismissed the whole thing. "It doesn't matter, really. I was just telling Lily what we did in Potions today."

Mary made a face. "Yeah, the lunch thing? That was a bit – strange."

"No, not that," Lily told Mary, with a knowing look, and then leaned in to whisper. "She thinks she's invisible."

Marlene rolled her eyes and said, "Lily, you don't need to-"

But Mary was already grinning. "You mean – invisible to _guys_?"

Marlene's eyes widened. "Oh, no, no, no!" she interrupted Mary. "It's not that. It's just-" She watched as Mary was looking though she was getting ready for something. "No, Mary, I don't need help with guys. I'm perfectly fine-"

Lily grabbed Marlene's arm and shook her head. "She's already gone, Marlene. Just go with it."

Fearing what was to come, Marlene continued to watch as Mary excitedly clapped her hands together. "It's time for you to learn every girl's weapon."

Marlene just stared. "Can I not?"

Ignoring Marlene's comment, Mary continued. "It's called...the bend and snap."

Marlene blinked. "The what?"

Lily turned to Marlene with a shrug. "It's the bend and snap. Evidently, it's like impossible for guys to resist. Haven't you heard of this before?"

Marlene was becoming hysterical. "No, of course not. I don't want to learn anything called the bend and...whatever."

"READY?!" Both girls were interrupted from their conversation by the high pitched squeal from Mary.

"What did you get me into?" Marlene whimpered hurriedly to Lily.

"I didn't know she would take it this-"

"I _said, _READY!?"

Marlene sighed loudly and turned to look at Mary. "Sure," she droned.

Lily watched as Mary bent over and snapped up with the hugest grin on her face. Marlene refused to copy her.

"I am not doing that in public," Marlene exclaimed, backing up slowly.

An outburst from down the hall caught their attention and they looked down to see a group of guys walking toward them.

"This is your moment!" Mary told Marlene, practically jumping up and down in excitement. "Just try it."

Marlene crossed her arms and slowly shook her head. "Mary, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just leave me alone right now. I don't need to learn this bend and-"

Suddenly, Mary bent down and snapped back up with a flirty smile toward the group. Every single eye was on her as they walked past.

The group rounded the corner and Mary turned back to the two dumbstruck girls. "See, that wasn't so hard."

"Uh-" Marlene stuttered, eyes widened once again.

Lily watched on in shock. "You mean the bend and snap actually works? I always thought it was a myth."

Mary grinned. "Always works. Unless he's gay, of course."

Backing up slightly, Marlene looked around at her surroundings. "So, if I do this, will you be honest and tell me if it looks like the most ridiculous thing ever?"

Mary's reassurance didn't sound very convincing so Marlene looked over at Lily.

"I promise," Lily answered her.

Marlene sighed loudly, mumbled a "I can't believe I am doing this" and waited for the next guy to walk down the corridor.

"There," Mary pointed out.

Lily and Marlene looked down the corridor to see Caradoc Dearborn walking toward them. Lily looked over at Marlene with a look of absolute horror. "You cannot," she whispered to Marlene quickly, turning her attention back on the guy walking toward him.

"Uh – Mary, I can't do it in front of Caradoc Dearborn," Marlene hurriedly informed the grinning girl.

"What? You have to!" Mary protested. "What's so bad about Caradoc?"

There was a pause. "Everything," Marlene finally answered. Lily found herself nodding in approval.

Mary just frowned as Caradoc passed them without a second glance.

"Prat," Marlene muttered as soon as he was out of earshot.

Lily gave her a look. "You really hate him, don't you?" she said, more as a statement than a question.

Marlene just murmured in response. Mary watched the two interestedly.

"As long as I, Mary Sue MacDonald, am living and breathing, I _will_ get you to successfully perform the bend and snap."

Lily blinked. "Was that supposed to be an inspirational speech?"

Marlene had to smile. "Yeah, that was lame, Mary."

Mary just crossed her arms. "Fine, if you don't want my help, then I'll just be going."

With a roll of the eyes and an exasperated noise, Marlene said, "I'll do it but just once, okay?"  
The look on Mary's face was of absolute joy.

The three girls continued to look down the corridor for any approaching guys. "There are the Prewett brothers and that one kid they always hang out with," Lily announced as the aforementioned boys got closer and closer.

Showing her discomfort once again, Marlene took her time straightening up and stepping forward. "I _really_ cannot believe I'm doing this," Marlene repeated and then waited until the Prewett brothers got close. As soon as they passed by, she made a show of bending down and snapping back up. A little shaky on the snap, Lily had to make sure Marlene stayed standing.

They watched as the Prewett brothers walked by without a glance.

"You have got to be kidding me," Marlene groaned, turning around to go die.

Mary stopped her, turning her back around toward the next boy. "Oh, no, you can't run away. Try it again."

Marlene looked at Lily for help. "Don't make me do this."

Lily shrugged. "Just try it. It won't hurt."

With a grimace on her face, Marlene quickly bent down and snapped, not staggering this time.

And, once again, she was passed by without even a turning of the head.

Marlene threw her hands up in the air and shouted, "Is every guy in Hogwarts gay!?" Seething, she turned back around to face Mary and Lily, grabbed her bookbag from the floor, and made her way to leave.

She stopped cold when she heard someone chuckling from behind her.

The three girls all looked in the opposite direction for the first time and saw Sirius Black, leaning against the wall, watching them with a grin on his face.

"Oh, god!" Marlene immediately groaned. "How long have you been standing there?"

Sirius's grin did not falter. "Long enough," he replied shortly, straightening up.

Marlene groaned again, trying to find a way past him. "I'm just going to leave now."

"You know," Sirius added, "Not all guys here are gay."

Marlene sighed. "Of course, Casanova," she replied sarcastically.

Sirius smirked slightly at her. "And it's just that some don't know the beauty of the 'bend and snap'," he told her softly.

Marlene raised an eyebrow at him as he gave her a parting look and walked back down the corridor.

The trio watched him leave, amused. "Do you hear that?" Marlene asked suddenly.

Mary tilted her head to the side. "All the time."

Lily paused. "I have...absolutely no clue what you are talking about."

"You don't hear that?" Marlene asked, tearing her gaze away.

Lily hesitated before answering, "Uh...hear what?"

Mary grinned again. "If you don't know, we can't explain it."

There was a silence before Marlene adjusted her bookbag and announced, "Well, since that was a failure, I'm just going to work on my essay now."

"That was not a failure," Mary argued.

Marlene blinked. "What do you mean? No guys even glanced at me."

Lily caught on to Mary's train of thought. "Wait – one did."

When it finally clicked, Marlene's eyes grew large. "No, you can't – he doesn't count – he's Sirius Black, for goodness sake, he flirts with anything that moves – well, females, really." Lily and Mary noticed that Marlene was starting to ramble. "I mean – he's not _gay_ – he noticed the bend and snap which means he definitely isn't, right? And he's been with many girls...too many really..."

Lily and Mary took this time to grin at each other.

"Kill me now," Marlene finished with a sigh.

* * *

"Your first assignment will not start until after the term," Dumbledore announced to four people, "However, you will begin training through the entire year. Work on spells. Get familiar with your spells, charms, and counterjinxes." 

James, Lily, Dorcas, and Caradoc all stared straight ahead at him, nodding with every word.

They had taken the group photo just an hour before. To Lily, it brought the entire thing together for her. She was really part of something; something that was going to do something.

It wasn't just for Caradoc anymore. It wasn't because she wanted him back.

It was because was wanted this for herself.

She wanted to be a part of this.

"Hey, Lily?"

Lily looked up to realize that Dorcas and Caradoc had begun to start practicing, and that James was watching her carefully.

"Hmm?" she murmured, still lost in her thoughts.

James hesitated and then said, "How-how are you?"

Lily blinked and looked over at James. "What?"

"Well, uh – I haven't really talked to you since..." he faltered but Lily knew what he meant.

"I'm fine, I guess."

James nodded and said no more.

It was uncomfortable, just like it was for the past couple weeks. Lily began to think it would forevermore continue to stay this way.

* * *

Inside joke no. 1: They breaded potions and made lunch. It has to do with an assignment my friend did about Harry Potter and inside of writing brewed she wrote breaded. And we took it one step farther and called it "lunch".

Inside joke no. 2: At the risk of turning Mary into a Mary Sue, I tried to erase that whole section. Then I decided to roll with it. And her middle name officially became Sue.

Inside joke no. 3 (MOST IMPORTANT!): If you are like Lily and wondering what the heck Mary and Marlene heard, then I suggest you watch...

LEGALLY BLONDE THE MUSICAL, MTV, OCTOBER 13TH, 1 PM.

Not only will you get to see the songs I base my chapters around, you get to see what I'm talking about during things like that one part where Sirius was walking away. Watch when the UPS guy comes on in the second act and what happens when he starts walking. That's what Marlene and Mary hears.

And I believe that's it for me.

Chapter ten will be up after I update ATTWN.

Oh, and I really like reviews...


	10. Where My Path Will Lead

This is what happens when I procrastinate college papers. I write my chapters! The next chapter of ATTWN to come tomorrow or later tonight.

Hope everyone saw and enjoyed MTV's Legally Blonde the Musical. (If you didn't, there's information for you at the end of the chapter.)

Enjoy.

* * *

The bitter cold of February came rushing in quickly. It had been only a few months since Lily had joined the Order but she felt as if she had been doing this forever. 

It had been four months since Caradoc had broken up with her. Four months since she had started this whole thing with the Order. Four months since she had her first lesson with James. And four months since she realized that James wasn't such a bad guy.

Lily didn't pay attention to any of this. The assignment had taken hold of Lily's life and was made first priority.

Caradoc didn't matter.

Dorcas didn't matter (but why would she?).

James didn't even matter.

It was an awful thing, Lily realized, letting something take over her whole life. But she didn't care. She threw herself into it.

And people were starting to notice.

"Lily?"

Lily scribbled furiously on her parchment. She had to finish this Transfiguration essay before the meeting tonight.

"Li-ly?"

She had to ignore the voice.

"Lily Evans!"

Jumping slightly at the raise in the voice, she looked up to see Marlene standing in front of her, arms crossed.

"Yes?" Lily finally answered, the annoyance that she was interrupted evident in her voice.

Marlene frowned at her. "You've been working all Saturday. Come on, it's an hour until the meeting and I want to go down to dinner."

Lily hesitated and then shook her head. "I'm not done with this essay. I have to-"

Marlene cut her off abruptly. "That essay isn't due until next week."

Giving Marlene a look, Lily replied, "It's not a crime to do it now."

Sighing loudly, Marlene reached out and grabbed the person walking by, making him spin around to face them.

"Whoa, what's going on?" James asked as soon as Marlene let him go and he came to a stop next to her.

"Your _friend_," Marlene paused, emphasizing the word 'friend'. "-won't stop studying."

Lily laughed, not even looking up from her parchment. "Thanks Marlene," she exclaimed sarcastically.

James paused before saying, "It's not uncommon to see her studying."

Frustrated, Marlene retorted, "She's been doing this non-stop. She hasn't done anything else _except_ study."

Lily looked up briefly. "I just have to finish this essay."

"And I think you should get something to eat," Marlene said.

James looked at the two. "Well – umm...maybe you should eat?" he tried, not sure on exactly what to say.

Lily frowned, finishing a sentence. "Busy."

Marlene sighed loudly again and looked over to see another person that she could use, resulting in him being grabbed by the arm and pulled in.

"Hey," Sirius greeted Marlene with a grin as he came to a stop just inches from her face. He didn't even bother to take a step back or wrench himself out of her grasp.

As if she had just realized, Marlene promptly let go of him and took a step back, muttering a soft "hey" in response.

Sirius looked amused as he asked, "What's this little get-together for?"

James and Marlene both looked at Lily. Sirius followed their gaze. "She's been doing that for awhile, right?"

There was an awkward silence.

"What?" Sirius finally responded to the looks they were giving him. "She's predictable."

"I am _not_," Lily argued, finally looked up from her essay. "I just want to finish an essay. Really, is that so bad?"

Marlene nodded. "It is when that's all you do."

"And you need some 'you time'"," James added.

"You just need to enjoy life," Sirius concluded.

Lily actually laughed, dropping her quill to look up into their confused faces. "You guys are hopeless, you know that?" She rolled up her parchment and stood up from her seat. "All right, let's go."

The four of them started to make their way down to the Great Hall, joining up with Peter and Remus along the way.

"You know, Lily-" James suddenly spoke up, leaning close to her. "Even with all this studying, it's better than you gushing over Caradoc all the time."

Lily raised an eyebrow, not sure whether or not to take that as a compliment. "I guess, thank you?" she asked him as a question.

James laughed. "Maybe you really do have that chip on your shoulder."

Sirius suddenly cut in with a grin on his face. "You have a chip on your shoulder? Good ol' James here has one too. You're practically soul mates."

Marlene gave Sirius a warning glance, complete with a smack on the shoulder, as Lily instinctively took a step away from James.

Soul mates.

What a scary word. You only had one soul mate. There would never be another one. She couldn't be soul mates with _James_ – it would be too awkward. He was just a _friend_.

Marlene's voice from a couple nights ago rang in her head. An almost exact conversation had been played out. Marlene's answer had been "well, if he's your friend, Icould use a friend like _that_".

Lily wrung her hands nervously. Why did Sirius have to bring that up? Now she was nervous again. She wasn't before – she was fine before. He had to go and ruin it.

Making a mental note to get back at Marlene for that friend comment, she calmly turned to the group. "A lot of people have chips on their shoulders," she explained. "It's very common."

Sirius just grinned. "Whatever you say, Evans." He was being sarcastic. She _hated_ that.

Lily quickly glanced over at James to see him looking straight ahead as if he couldn't hear any of it.

In an awkward silence, they made their way into the Great Hall, finding seats in a empty section at the Gryffindor table.

"I wonder what tonight's meeting will be about," Sirius broke the silence, before he started to shove food into his mouth.

The girls watched him in a gross amazement, as they had never seen someone eat that fast. "Well, I guess we'll talk some more," Marlene finally answered his question. "And work on the assignments."

She stopped quickly as her eyes widened at a figure behind her.

Lily followed Marlene's gaze and saw the person she'd least expected to be standing in front of her.

Dorcas Meadowes.

"Dorcas?" Lily questioned, her eyebrows raised. "What are you doing here?"

Dorcas took a deep breath before saying, "I've been thinking..."

Lily cringed, expecting an insult.

"And, well, maybe we should start helping each other with the assignment." Dorcas looked at Lily with a hopeful expression.

There was complete silence.

Dorcas was actually being nice to her? What was going on? Lily just watched Dorcas stand there with wide eyes, not even believing this to be true.

"I mean-" Dorcas added, looking a bit nervous. "We are on the same team and we are fighting for the same thing..so..."

Lily blinked. Wouldn't Dorcas be afraid that she was going to steal her boyfriend back or something?

When no one said anything, Dorcas hastily said, "And I know you don't care about Caradoc anymore now that you have James."

There was an instant response.

Sirius choked on his food while Marlene accidentally slammed her goblet of pumpkin juice on the table. Remus and Peter exchanged wide-eyed glances while James coughed uncomfortably.

Lily, instead, immediately started. "Oh, he's – umm – not, I mean, we're not --"

James actually took this moment to look over at her with a questioning expression.

"We're not _together_," Lily kept on. "We're friends, you know. Like – friends?"

Dorcas looked confused. "I could have _sworn _that-- well, no matter. I'll see you all later tonight." And with a semi-smile, she left the table.

"Well, that was interesting," Sirius said with a grin.

James gave him a look. Lily watched everyone with a nervous expression. Slowly, they all went back to eating, and when everyone was distracted, Marlene leaned over and whispered, "You know, if he's your friend, I could use a friend like that."  
Lily frowned at the use of the familiar joke and turned to Marlene. "Go be friends with Sirius then," she retorted in a quick whisper.

Lily smirked as her comment quickly shut Marlene up.

* * *

"And that concludes tonight's meeting. We will continue next Saturday." There was the scurry of everyone getting their things together. 

Dorcas said a quick goodbye to the group and left immediately. She had worked with them since Caradoc went on the Hogmeade trip with his friends and stayed the whole day.

As soon as she left, Lily turned to Marlene. "I have a problem."

Marlene didn't even hesitate before saying, "You always do."

Lily rolled her eyes and exclaimed, "No, I mean --- I have Head's duties to work on. And ---"

"You have to work with James," Marlene finished with a grin.

"After what Dorcas said..." Lily mused, trailing off.

"It's going to be awkward," Marlene once again ended her sentence.

Lily nodded solemnly. "I don't know if I should work tonight. Maybe I should forget the whole thing."

Marlene chuckled. "You cannot give up on your duties because of Dorcas's honesty."

Lily almost let it slide but she caught it at the last minute. "What did you say?"

Marlene just grinned. "Nothing, nothing, now go talk to James. He's leaving." She gently pushed Lily in the direction of the door, where James was talking casually to just Sirius. Lily looked around for Remus and Peter and found only Remus talking to the Headmaster.

Taking a few steps back, she whispered to Marlene hurriedly. "I can't talk to him around Sirius. He'll just make fun of the incident at supper."

Marlene just looked at her in exasperation. "That's your excuse? That can be easily remedied."

"What-?" Lily started to ask, but Marlene had already walked up to the two.

She could only hear a few choice words, including, 'meeting', 'fine', and...'weather'? Was Marlene seriously trying to distract Sirius by talking about the weather? It worked though, as they both walked to the opposite side of the room.

That left James looking after them in amusement. Lily took her chance, walking up to him as confidently as she could. "What happened?" she asked him lightly.

He grinned before turning to Lily. "I think Sirius and Marlene are having a very in depth conversation about...weather."

Lily laughed (probably to calm her nerves) and said, as calmly as she could, "Listen, you know...umm...we should check on the Prefects and see how they are doing."

Either James didn't notice her anxiousness or he decided not to comment on it, but he nodded in response. "Yeah, we should. It's been awhile since we did that."

They made our way down the staircase to the Gryffindor common room to check on the Gryffindor prefects.

The first one they spotted was Alex Carpenter, a 6th year. He was writing something down on parchment which looked suspiciously like song lyrics.

"Hullo, James, Lily," Alex greeted them as they walked up.

"What are you writing?" Lily asked curiously.

Alex shrugged. "Just some lyrics."

James sat down in the chair across from him while Lily sat on the couch. "How have patrols been going?" James asked.

"Fine. I haven't had any trouble recently. It's been going well, I think," Alex replied, and then his eyes lit up. He grabbed a piece of parchment and began writing, mouthing the words "looking for trouble".

"That's good to hear," Lily said after a bit of pause. "Do you know where Patty is?"  
Alex looked up and pointed to the opposite corner of the room. "Right over there."

James and Lily got up and said their goodbyes to Alex. "I like him." Lily said brightly, trying to make conversation.

James looked at her with a small smile. "Hey, we're soul mates. You're not allowed to like anyone else."

It relieved her that James was still able to make a joke out of the awkward situation they had earlier that day. Shaking her head, she laughed and said, "You wish."

About fifteen minutes later, Lily and James made their way to the Portrait hole, planning to search for the other Prefects. They were stopped, however, as the Portrait opened and two people came inside hurriedly.

"Sirius? Marlene?" Lily questioned, a confused look on her face. They couldn't -- "What were you two doing for the past – oh, I don't know – half hour?"

James opened his mouth to add something but stopped when he saw the looks on their faces. "What's wrong?" he asked suddenly.

Marlene stared at Lily, shaking her head slightly, her mouth open in shock.

"Marlene, what happened?" Lily asked worriedly, taking a step toward the shaking girl.

The look in Sirius's eyes were that of pure fear. "Sirius, are you okay?" James asked him.

Lily's heart began to race just looking at the two visibly shaken teenagers. She braced herself for the horrible news that was to come but nothing could have prepared her for this.

"Caradoc's gone missing."

* * *

On my profile, there is a link to my LiveJournal, and then there is an update on my LiveJournal called 'Serious'. There you can read my outline with the Legally Blonde songs included and some video of it from MTV. 

Thanks for reading. Leave a review telling me what you thought. I will update as soon as I can.


	11. What About Love

Chapter 11 AKA Emo Angsty Fluffiness.

If you'd seen Legally Blonde on MTV, this is where the title song (Legally Blonde) comes into play.

Enjoy.

* * *

She was alone. Alone in a sea of happy chattering students, bustling around, going about their day as usual. But today wasn't a normal day.

Lily was reminded of this as Dumbledore stood up at the teacher's table and cleared his throat. Immediately, a silence fell over the Hall. Eyes were locked on the Headmaster, and everyone seemed to understand that it was serious. With the war, everyone was used to somber news.

Dumbledore swept his gaze across the four tables but didn't lock eyes with a single person. "We are in the midst of a war," he announced, his voice echoing over the deafening silence. "You soon will all venture into a life beyond Hogwarts, into the war. You deserve to know everything."

Lily was shivering and couldn't keep her gaze on Dumbledore. She looked over at the Ravenclaw table to catch Dorcas's stare. Dorcas was a mess. Her cheeks were red, hair was carelessly thrown in a bun, and tears welled up in her eyes, silently streaming down her face. Lily hadn't cried yet.

Dumbledore paused, and said, "Caradoc Dearborn is missing."

Lily's heart stopped as she heard the reaction: gasps, murmurs, a few sobs. She only stared down at the table, willing herself not to cry. She couldn't cry. She wouldn't...

"Yesterday, during the monthly visitation to Hogsmeade, Mr. Dearborn vanished from the school grounds. The faculty and I have discussed this and we have decided that you should all be informed of our thoughts. We believe it is the work of Voldemort."

A collective shudder rippled through the entire Hall. Dumbledore paused, and continued, even though many students seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown. "I ask you to remain calm and stay together. Hogsmeade trips are canceled until further notice."

Dumbledore said no more as he sat back down in his chair.

There was a thunder clap, and the ceiling began to rain.

* * *

The embers burned red as the crackling of the wood invaded Lily's mind. She sat in front of the fire in the Common Room, blanket wrapped around her shoulders, thinking. Staring blankly into the center of the fireplace, her mind went blank. 

"Lily?" a tentative voice interrupted her vacant mind.

Lily's eyes flicked upward to meet with Marlene's concerned ones. She didn't answer, instead she held on more tightly to her blanket, and looked back into the fire.

Marlene nervously took a seat across the broken girl. "Lily, it'll be okay. They'll-they'll find him, just you wait." Her voice shook, and Lily knew that Marlene wasn't even convinced.

"He's dead, Marlene." It was the first thing she said all day.

Marlene's eyes widened. "Don't-don't say that Lily. You don't know that."

Lily's voice was hollow. "Yes, I do. I do know it, Marlene."

There was a heavy pause, as Marlene took a few shaky breaths. "I-" Marlene started, and then broke off. "I think there might be a chance-"

Lily shook her head. "No." There was no emotion in her voice. "He's gone."

Marlene hesitated and then quickly tried to change the subject. "I-I'm on my way to the meeting. Do you want to – I mean, are you coming?"

With blank eyes, Lily looked over at Marlene. "Why should I go anymore? The reason I joined is dead. I don't belong there, Marlene. I can't go-"

Marlene frantically shook her head in disbelief. "No, Lily, you-you can't drop out just because of this. Please, just come. We really need you there."

"He won't be there," Lily reminded her, still not a change in her voice.

Marlene began to feel a little uneasy at the lack of emotion in Lily's tone. "_Please._"

Lily blinked and stared into Marlene's frightened eyes. She would go this one last time.

* * *

The first thing Lily noticed when she and Marlene entered Dumbledore's office was the crying form of Dorcas Meadowes, curled up in the corner of the room. Without a second thought, Lily made her way over cautiously. 

"Dorcas-" she whispered, kneeling down to see her face.

"I should have gone," Dorcas whispered, muffled by her arms.

Lily looked at her, eyes softening at the sight. It was the only emotion that she showed since the news. "Then you'd both be missing. It'll be all right."

Lily found herself repeating Marlene's words, but she still didn't believe them. She knew he was gone, she could feel it.

Dorcas shook her head, holding her knees to her chest. "I don't know anymore, Lily."

Lily didn't know what to say to the Ravenclaw. She had hated the girl only a week ago, and now, she felt sorry for her. She felt as though she had to comfort her, but Lily couldn't think of anything comforting, for she was feeling the same way as Dorcas was feeling.

"I-" Dorcas spoke up again, looking up with tear-filled eyes. "I was so jealous of you."

Lily's eyes widened at her revelation. "What?"

Dorcas nodded solemnly. "That's why I was so mean to you. I thought there was still a chance that he would go back to you, and I knew you still liked him. But I guess I was wrong. I haven't even seen you cry one tear."

Lily opened her mouth to say something and found she couldn't respond. Why hadn't she cried yet?

"We were supposed to get married," Dorcas continued, her voice thick with an onset of tears. "I loved-_love_ him, and now--"

"He'll come back, he will," Lily repeated, but she knew she was wrong.

For some reason, Lily felt worse than she had before she talked to Dorcas. All she could do was ask herself why. Why hadn't she cried? Why did she feel so numb? And why didn't she feel any emotion at all?

The meeting consisted of speeches; speeches that emphasized the need to stay together, to regroup, to stay strong. But Lily wasn't listening. Nothing made sense to her anymore. She wanted out.

She couldn't live like this anymore.

She made up her mind; she was quitting right after the meeting. Her path didn't lead here. Her path was with _him_; the him that would never come back to her. She came into the Order wanting to prove herself, and she had done that. But what for?

All she would leave with was the experience. That was all she needed.

She wanted to go back to being Lily Evans – regular Lily Evans with no involvement in the war, with no heartache, with no confusion or doubt. She needed shelter.

She just needed to leave.

When the meeting ended, Marlene looked over at Lily. "You aren't really quitting, are you?" she asked slowly.

Lily sighed. "I have to, Marlene. There's nothing left for me here."

"It's the Order. There's many reasons why you should stay," Marlene tried to convince her but Lily wasn't hearing any of it. She had to get out of here as soon as possible. She felt as though she couldn't breathe anymore.

There was only one thing she had to do before she left.

Lily stopped a few feet away. "James," she greeted him, trying not to let her voice waver.

He turned around and noticed her, immediately stopping his conversation with Remus and Sirius. "Lily," he greeted her in a formal tone.

Sirius and Remus glanced between the two and then quietly walked out of the room.

The rest of the Order members made their way out the door; Marlene being the last one remaining. She gave the two a quick look and left swiftly.

"You okay?" James immediately asked, concern shining in his eyes.

Lily bit her lip and said, softly, "Thanks for your help and for all you've done. Thank you for treating me decently."

James looked at Lily in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"I appreciated it, really, but I have to go-"

"Wait," James stopped her, taking a step forward, "What do you mean 'go'?"

Lily said, as evenly as she could, "Sorry I'm letting everyone down-"

James shook his head, eyes trying to read her's. "What do you mean? You're not letting anyone down."

Taking a deep breath, Lily choked out, "Yes, I am. I'm quitting, James."

He just stared back at her, surprise evident in his expression. "You can't quit. You're one of the best Order members here, Lily. What about the assignment?"

"Marlene can do it, I don't care. I just can't do this anymore." She felt weak, she felt like running away, but she stood her ground as she stared up at the boy looking confusedly down at her.

He stared at her for awhile, and then asked the only question that came into his mind. "Why?"

Lily's voice was becoming more emotional. "There's no reason for me to stay," she told him. With every ounce of strength she had left, she turned away from him and made her way to leave.

But James was still trying. "What about the Order?" he asked, placing a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "What about your friends, your family, Voldemort? God, Lily, you can't just leave!" Lily just shook her head, refusing to turn around to look at him again. If she did, he might just convince her to stay. Finally, James said no more, and Lily breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that she had won.

"What about love?" The voice cut through the air unexpectedly, but it was soft, unsure, as if he didn't want to say it. He gently spun her around to face him, but she stared down at the floor. "Lily..."

She shook her head frantically. "No, James, don't do this-" she pleaded with him. She didn't need to hear this right now.

"I know this doesn't seem like the right time to bring it up," James continued, ignoring her plea. "You're still in love with Caradoc. But you belong here, Lily, with me. I need you here. It's not just the Order. I need you too. Please, just stay."

"James," she cried. "Don't-I can't."

She still refused to look up at him. James lightly crooked his finger under her chin and lifted her head up. She was forced to look into her eyes. She knew that if she looked in those hazel eyes of his, she would want to give in.

And she was right.

He stared at her intensely, waiting for her to say something, anything. Tears welled up in Lily's eyes as she stared back at him, and she couldn't think.

He wasn't Caradoc. This wasn't the man she loved. The man she loved was dead. She was never going to see him again. And now James had to burst in and ruin everything.

She meant to tell James off, but that wasn't the words that came out of her mouth.

"Do you think Caradoc ever loved me?" she asked James quietly, never blinking, never taking her gaze off of him.

James momentarily looked distraught. "Lily…"

"No," Lily moved out of his grasp, her voice louder than before. "Tell me the truth, James. What do you think?"

He watched after her, a frown upon his face. "No," he admitted, hesitatingly. Lily felt sick; the news finally hitting her. Caradoc never loved her like she loved him. And she only realized now. She had acted like an idiot around Caradoc, even Dorcas.

"I'm so stupid," Lily muttered in defeat.

James took a step forward again, shaking his head in disagreement. "No, you're perfect. You just got caught up with him."

"No, I'm stupid because I joined something for _him_. I'm stupid because I don't belong here and I've been wasting my time with the Order and these assignments and lessons." Lily paused, and then smiled listlessly, as if laughing with herself. "I'm done, James." She looked at him, eyes searching his, reading his array of emotions. "Goodbye."

She was almost to the door before a hand reached out and grabbed her's. He quickly pulled Lily back, spinning her around to face him, and before she knew what was happening, she was in his arms, his mouth covering her's.

It was chaste, only a few seconds, and James was the one to break it off. He held her to him, forehead still resting on her's, and simply said, "I need you to stay."

Lily whimpered at the pleadingness in his words and whispered, "I'm sorry, James. Please, just let me go."

"I can't-" he murmured, eyes now shut tight at the even thought. "I can't let you leave me, Lily."

Lily looked up at him with wide, emotion-filled eyes, and then broke out of his grasp. "I can't stay," she said, voice breaking, and she grabbed the doorknob, pulling open the door. She didn't even wait to see his reaction before fleeing down the staircase, stumbling down them carelessly.

She didn't make it that far before she fell to the ground, tears now flowing freely down her cheeks.

Lily didn't know what was worse: the fact that she was finally crying or that the man she was crying over was not Caradoc Dearborn.

* * *

I dedicate this chapter to two showings of Harry Potter 5, emoness, and procrastination.

Next chapter: Irish jigs, random Sirius moment, Legally Blonde REMIX. To be posted soon.

Review and comment with what you thought. Thanks.


	12. A Muse

Even though I was atrociously sick this weekend, I still managed to finish this chapter.

So read and enjoy.

* * *

He was alive. 

She saw him, sitting down a few seats from her, talking to Dorcas. Dorcas was smiling, as happy tears welled up in her eyes, nodding with every word he said.

Lily watched this from her spot next to Marlene as a slow grin appeared on her face. He was back. She was wrong; he didn't die. He was safe and back and she could see him.

"He's back," Lily said happily to anyone that was listening to her.

With a new skip in her step, she stood up from her seat and made her way over to talk to him. His eyes connected with her's as she drew nearer. A smile was playing on his face which told Lily that he was happy to see her too. She was smiling so much her cheeks hurt but she didn't care.

Suddenly, a cool wind blew.

"_Avada kedavra!"_

Something pulled her down and she landed on the floor hard, as the green spell barely missed her. She didn't know what was going on but suddenly there was screaming, and all she could see was the enchanted ceiling as she lie on her back, her savior holding onto her.

Ignoring the new throbbing in her head, Lily sat up quickly and saw _chaos_. Saw his body. Caradoc's still body lying across from her on the floor, sprawled out with a look of sheer surprise on his face.

With wide eyes, Lily leaned forward, heart beating wildly. "No," she whispered. She had just gotten him back and he was gone again.

"Are-are you all right?" a distant voice interrupted her. As if just realizing that someone still had a hold on her, Lily looked over at the person who had saved her and saw James Potter staring back at her.

Lily slowly shook her head. "No," she whispered again, and then raised her voice. "I'm never going to be okay! I can't do this..." She shut her eyes in frustration and tears, something finally snapping inside her. She suddenly didn't care what she said to James – as long as her point finally got across. "I'm not all right. I can't take anymore! Stop asking me, stop caring for me, stop confusing me! _Stop, stop, stop_!"

Marlene's voice came from behind her, and her hands were on Lily's shoulder's, shaking her. "Lily! Lily, wake up!"

Lily's eyes flew open. She was in her dormitory, under her covers, staring up at the dark ceiling that surrounded her. It hadn't actually happened. It was a dream.

"Are you all right?"

The words echoed familiarly in Lily's head. All she could think of was how James said them in her dream. And how worried and concerned he sounded. With a sickening feeling, she remembered the night before. And for the first time, Lily wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing

"I'm fine," Lily lied, hiding back under her covers.

* * *

_Tap. Tap. __THUNK._

She only wanted a couple hours of sleep, but once again, Lily found herself jolted awake. She looked around to see who was left in the dormitory on this Sunday morning and found Marlene and her other roommate, Jane. Jane's eyes were wide open as she stared at the ceiling while Marlene connected with Lily's gaze, a questioning look exchanged.

With a sigh, Marlene threw off her covers and clumsily made her way to the door. She opened the door and yawned before saying, "What do you want?"

Sirius stepped into the room and answered, "I need to talk with Lily." Lily's eyes widened at his statement; why would he want to talk to her? "Oh, and nice pyjamas, Marlene," he added, sounding almost business-like.

Lily almost laughed out loud as Marlene raised an eyebrow and let Sirius pass without another word.

Sirius didn't waste any time before going into exactly what he wanted. "You need to come back."

Lily shook her head and threw her hair up into a ponytail. "I left already, Sirius. I can't just show up and proclaim I'm coming back."

But Sirius was adamant. "I know that when you first joined I told you that you weren't doing it for the right reasons, but look how far you've gotten. You're one of the best in the Order!"

"Flattery won't work either, Sirius," Lily exclaimed.

Sirius stared at the Gryffindor with wide eyes. "I'm not using flattery, really, I'm telling you the truth. Just imagine how much you'll be able to achieve with the Order. It's so much more than Caradoc and James and whatever. It's fighting for what's right, Evans. Don't you want the live in a world free of Voldemort? Don't you want to help?"

Lily tore her gaze away from the boy and looked down at her bed. "It's complicated, Sirius. It's not just that, it's more. I want to be a part of something, I do, but...I can't do it this way."

"What about James?" I heard Marlene add to the conversation.

Both her and Sirius were staring at me intensely. "I don't understand..." I said slowly.

"It's killing him, Lily, can't you see that?" Marlene elaborated. "You tried forever to get Caradoc back, and then when it seems you're finally over him, then this happens and you're back where you started. It has to be torturing him."

The scene from the night before replayed in Lily's head. "I know," she whispered, writhing her hands. "I told him everything and I know how he feels about it. I just _can't_."

"You need to get back in the game," Sirius proclaimed. "You're like a muse to everyone in the Order. You come in out of nowhere and suddenly, you know how to fight better than most of the people who've been in it from the start."

Marlene nodded. "It won't be the same without you."

Lily nervously began to unthread the loose strings in her blanket. "I just don't think it will matter."

"You don't?" Sirius looked almost shocked at the very thought, and then walked forward. "Come on, I'll show you." And before Lily could protest, Sirius had grabbed Lily's hands and dragged her out of the dormitory.

Marlene sensibly grabbed her robe before following. "Hey, Sirius, how did you even get up here?" she called after him as he already started descending the staircase.

"Marauder's secret!" his voice carried back into the room.

* * *

"Let go of me!" Lily protested, trying to wrench her hands out of his grip. She had forgotten her wand back in the dormitory; well, not forgotten, because if Sirius hadn't have grabbed her, then she'd have it.

Sirius shook his head, leading her down to the fifth floor. "Not until you agree to come back to the Order."

Lily shook her head frantically. "How many times do I have to tell you? I can't."

"Then you're not getting away," Marlene concluded, walking safely behind them.

Lily screamed in frustration under her breath. They started up a winding staircase and suddenly, came to a stop at the top of a tower. Sirius reached out and rapped on the door in front of them with the knocker. A soft voice came out of nowhere. "If a tree falls down in the Forbidden Forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Sirius shrugged and turned to the two girls. "So, what do you think?"

Lily scoffed. "I'm not helping you when you're dragging me around the castle in my pyjamas."

She expected her friend to at least say something along those lines but instead got the opposite. "I don't know." Marlene shrugged. "I suppose it depends on where in the forest."

Lily watched in exasperation as her so-called _friend_ helped her capturer.

"I suppose it does," the voice agreed and the door creaked open.

"Good job, Marlene," Sirius congratulated her.

Lily rolled her eyes and announced sarcastically, "Yeah, good job."

Marlene just smiled. "No problem."

Lily noticed right away where they had taken her. The Ravenclaw common room. Glancing around at the blue-adorned room, Lily saw Dorcas sitting in one of the chairs to her right.

"Dorcas!" Sirius called out to her.

The girl looked up from the book she was reading and made her way over to the group. "What are you doing here?" she asked them quizzically. She eyed how Sirius was holding Lily to the spot.

"Tell her," Sirius said simply.

Dorcas gave him a look for a second, and then it dawned on her. "You really are leaving, aren't you?" she asked Lily.

Sirius finally let go of her, and Lily sighed in relief. Off-handedly, she responded, "Yes, yes I am."

"You can't," Dorcas said as if it were the simplest thing.

Lily stared at the girl incredulously. "Of course I can."

Dorcas actually laughed. "You know, I used to pray for the day you'd leave. I swore up and down you did not belong in the Order and the only reason you did join was because of Caradoc." The pain shone in her eyes as she said his name, but she continued. "I was wrong though. You convinced me that you're an asset to the Order. You have to stay, you have to help us. Help the Order."

Lily looked around at the three who were waiting for her to say 'yes'. "What would happened if I said I was coming back?" she finally asked. "People would judge me on how I left and came back easily."

Sirius shrugged. "It's better than just running away."

"You just can't get out of the Order like that, Lily," Dorcas commented with a smile. "We're a team. We'd do anything for each other. Including keeping you in."

Marlene chuckled. "Even if we have to force you."

Lily sighed, mind reeling from all the support. "You really all want me back that much?"

"Of course!" Sirius exclaimed, turning her around and heading back out of the Ravenclaw common room. "But there's someone who wants you back even more."

Lily faced Sirius seriously. "I said goodbye already, Sirius. I can't just come back after that."

"He's been waiting for you to come back since forever, Lily. You can."

Lily didn't have to have Sirius force her down the tower staircase; she made her own way down the winding steps. Sirius, Marlene, and Dorcas followed silently, not sure exactly of where the Gryffindor girl was going, but positive it would finally be something worthwhile.

Lily's heart pounded in her chest. She didn't even know what she was doing. She didn't know if she was going to go back to the Order or not. She just needed to see James first – to see how he was doing. To ask him a few questions.

When they finally made it to the seventh floor, they saw the Headmaster walking toward them. He caught Lily's eyes and acknowledged her as they got closer.

"Ms. Evans, Mr. Black, Ms. McKinnon, Ms. Meadowes," he greeted them in turn. He then turned to Lily and said, clearly, "Well, Ms. Evans, I regret to inform you that your request for dismissal from the Order has been rejected."

Lily just stared at Dumbledore. "What? Why?" she asked quickly.

Dumbledore smiled, his eyes behind his half-moon spectacles twinkling. "I had a nice chat with another Order member and it became clear to me that he didn't want you to quit and I quite agreed with him. You're a clever witch, Ms. Evans, and believe you will thrive in the Order. Therefore, your resignation never happened."

She just continued to stare at him with wide eyes. "You're serious?" she asked him carefully.

"I find that seriousness is overrated," Dumbledore said wisely and bid them goodbye as he continued his stroll through the castle.

"So what do you have to say to that?" Marlene spoke up once Dumbledore was out of sight.

She hesitated before answering. "I guess I'm staying," Lily said, unable to keep a straight face.

They made their way into the Gryffindor common room a few minutes later to spread the good news to the other Order members.

Sirius had found a radio and switched it on, exclaiming that he had to find a Irish jig to celebrate. Marlene quickly saved them all after a few chords of the jig by racing across the room to jump on the radio and shut it off. For no one really wanted to start up a whole room of Irish dancing people.

Lily was laughing when she felt someone brush up against her.

Turning her head slightly, she saw James staring back at her. With a grin on his face, he whispered, "Did you actually think I was going to let you get away?"

"You were the one that spoke to Dumbledore," Lily concluded, but she was smiling as she said it.

James grinned. "You really don't want to leave, do you?" He laced his fingers with her's and brought her facing him.

Lily shrugged neutrally. "Maybe, maybe not."

"Lily Evans," he scolded her. "Why do you have to be serious all the time? Lighten up, why don't you?"

She wondered briefly why she even cared about Caradoc in the first place when James stood in front of her, staring back at her with a reassuring grin and hands held tightly in her own. Lily gave a short laugh and an incredulous shake of the head. "Oh, James, what am I going to do with you?"

He just grinned at her, and, for the first time in a long time, Lily felt at peace.

* * *

There were many different ways I was going to end this chapter, but I stuck with this one because I didn't want it to be too sappy. Hope you caught Legally Blonde: The Musical on MTV this weekend. I didn't but I heard it was on. For those of you familiar with the musical and/or the movie, you know the end is so ridiculously happy. To remedy that, I'm having an epilogue. Just because I like writing angst. It, once again, is based off a musical, but a song from Les Miserables instead of Legally Blonde. Points to who can guess which song it will be.

Oh, and the whole Irish song thing is a shout-out to everyone who saw the musical and was wondering where the Irish jig was.

Review and I'll see you in the next chapter.


	13. Find My Way

Second to last chapter. This chapter features the song Find My Way from Legally Blonde which you can find on YouTube. It's a bit different though and I had trouble writing this chapter because of that reason.

Anyway, enjoy.

* * *

It wasn't like her other dreams. This one didn't even try to disguise itself; instead, the whole expanse was filled with white, swirling white that pooled around Lily's feet. It was almost like she was floating in a cloud. 

"Lily Evans."

Her name seemed to come out of nowhere. She looked around and saw nothing but white.

"Lily..."

The voice was getting louder. It was a masculine voice, she noticed. Listening carefully, she waited.

"Lily."

It was him.

"Caradoc?" Lily finally answered back.

His voice sounded relieved, as though he wasn't sure if she was going to respond. "How are you?"

She still couldn't see him. "Fine, I guess," she replied unsurely.

"I miss you," he admitted.

Lily suddenly felt sick. She stood and stared into the nothingness, wanting just to see _something_. "Shouldn't you be saying that to Dorcas?" She noted that her question sounded a bit patronizing.

Suddenly, he was standing in front of her. He was still wearing his Hogwarts uniform from when she last saw him. He looked exactly the same, but different, and she couldn't place why. For some reason, this frustrated her.

"I was wrong," he strongly said.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

Caradoc looked at her in surprise. "About how Dorcas was the right girl for me. I was wrong, Lily."

She only gave him a look. "She loves you."

He just smiled at her, like everything was perfect. "And I love _you_."

Lily found herself scoffing. "No, you don't."

He looked at her with disbelieving eyes. "Why would I lie about that, Lils?"

"Don't call me that," she snapped at him, taking a step forward. Instinctively, he took a step back with a questioning gaze. "Don't invade my dreams. Don't tell me that you love me when you're dead and never coming back."

"I'm not dead."

The three words hit Lily with a huge impact. She just stared at him, studying his expression for any sign of laughter. "Why would you say that?" Suddenly, her voice was weak, little more than a whisper.

"I'm not." A smile appeared on his face.

Lily's heart began to beat fast against her chest. She could hardly even breathe. "You're just a dream..." she began to repeat, taking cautious steps backward. "You're lying."

He just continued to smile at her.

"I don't want to hear this, Caradoc!" Lily shouted, shutting her eyes in anger. "I'm over you. Finally over you!"

His smiling face still swam in her mind. "Leave. Me. Alone," she said fiercely and then opened her eyes to a completely different setting.

She had fallen asleep in the Common Room this time. The fire was dimming and only hushed whisperings filled the room. It had to be around midnight.

"You're awake," a voice interrupted her thoughts. She raised her eyes to see James leaning forward in a chair across from her. Sirius, Remus, and Marlene were sitting on the couch next to her, laps covered in parchment and quills.

Lily brushed the hair out of her eyes and sat up shakily. She didn't say a word but instead, looked back at the people staring at her. "What's wrong?" James asked her, noticing the expression on her face.

She gave him a blank stare. "He-" she faltered, eyes darting this way and that, trying to think of some way to explain what had happened to her. "He...said he was...alive," she finally choked out.

All eyes were on her in an awkward silence. "What?" Marlene finally asked, voice soft.

"In my dream – I – I had a dream, and he said he was not dead." She looked into the eyes of everyone watching her. "Do you think it's true?"

"It was just a dream," Remus said truthfully.

Lily nodded in agreement. "I know, it's just – it seemed so real. As if he was telling me something. What if – if I'm supposed to tell someone?"

"Dumbledore already has people looking for him," James explained. "I don't think there's anything else we can do."

Lily groaned, running her fingers through her hair. "I think the dream was trying to tell me not to give up hope."

"That he's still alive?" Marlene questioned.

"That I still can be with him. In the dream, he was telling me that he didn't love Dorcas, and instead, chose me."

Sirius rolled his eyes in spite of the serious atmosphere. "And he's still trying to confuse and manipulate you even after he's gone."

"That's why I refused him," Lily added.

The corners of James's mouth twitched upward. "Why?"

"Because I'm sick and tired of him trying to control me," Lily explained, looking back down at the floor. "And I can't let him do that anymore. He may have said he loved me, but I cannot love him back."

To break the silence that ensued, Remus proclaimed, "Maybe you should go to Dumbledore though. Just in case it's a sign that Caradoc is alive and somewhere near."

Lily nodded meekly, as she stood up slowly, regaining her balance. Remus looked toward James. "Maybe you should escort her to his office," he suggested.

James looked around at everyone who was watching them, and then back at Lily. "Is that all right with you?" he asked her.

She looked up at him, hands still shaking from the dream. "Yes," she finally decided.

She felt reassurance as he took her hand in his and led her safely out of the portrait hole. An awkward and heavy silence followed them as they made their slow way to Dumbledore's office.

"Why is this happening to me?"

James halted and turned to look at the girl who was now staring up at him with tears streaming down her face. He opened his mouth to say something – anything – of help but Lily cut him off in an emotion-filled voice.

"I mean – I'm over him. I want to move on, I really do, but it's as if he won't let me even if he's not here anymore," Lily began to rant. James felt her hand flex as if in anger. "Now, I'm heading to Dumbledore's office at night to tell him that I think Caradoc is alive. He could be just messing with my mind again."

Lily fully didn't expect an answer. "It's for the best," James announced suddenly. She turned to look at him in shock. "It could be a way of showing you if this is what you want or not."

"I'm not entirely sure what I want," Lily responded hastily.

James nodded. "And that's why he appears in your dreams. You're testing yourself."

Lily looked at him, eyes searching his. His eyes bore into her's, examining, exploring, remembering. The words were tumbling out before she couldn't have time to think or even react. "Listen, James, about that night-"

They rounded the corner into the corridor where Dumbledore's office presided. And striding toward them at a quick pace was none other than the Headmaster himself.

The words that Lily had been dying to say unexpectedly dropped silent. "Headmaster..." she began to greet him but the look in his eyes told her he already knew.

Dumbledore looked at the two Gryffindors somberly. "You had a dream, correct, Ms. Evans?"

Lily didn't question how he knew. "Yes. Do you suppose that means-"

"There has been no traces or clues leading to Caradoc Dearborn's disappearance since then. I have sent the Longbottoms to search Hogsmeade earlier today."

"They didn't find anything, did they?" James asked.

Dumbledore paused, and then announced, "They still have not returned."

James and Lily shared anxious glances. "Are they-?" Lily asked, voice wavering slightly.

The silence that followed answered the question without a word. Frank and Alice couldn't be next. Not again...

"I will update the Order on any recent news," Dumbledore told them. "Until then, Ms. Evans, get some sleep and Mr. Potter, keep an eye out for anything suspicious."

They nodded in response and turned back down the corridor toward the common room. Once again, Lily felt as though she couldn't breathe. Caradoc and _then_ the Longbottoms? How this be happening so fast?

"They're okay." She heard James say the sentence so confidently and wondered why he could be so sure.

"How do you know?" she asked him, stopping to look at him.

James hesitated before explaining, "You knew the worst had happened to Caradoc because you felt it. I feel as though the Longbottoms are okay. They'll come back, promise."

Without even a second thought, Lily found herself believing every word James said. They were continuing their walk back to the common room when she realized she never finished her conversation with him. But, before she could bring it up again, he stopped in front of her.

"Okay, hear me out," he exclaimed, looking almost worriedly in her eyes.

Lily just stared at him in response.

"Even though you only joined the Order of the Phoenix for him at the beginning, I'm glad you did. You might have joined for the wrong reasons, but now, it's different. You're a part of the team and this whole fiasco worked out in ways I never thought possible. I'm glad you choose me for a tutor because I finally got time to spend with you that I never believed would happen. Sirius and Remus told me that I would never get you to like me, so, I practically gave up for this last year at Hogwarts."

"I thought you hated me," Lily admitted, blinking back her tears.

James looked at her with wide eyes. "I could never hate you. I wanted to give you your space, and then maybe, you'd – well, then Caradoc came along." He paused for a second, and took a deep breath. "I didn't like him, I'll admit. But when he broke up with you, you seemed so broken, and it hurt me to see you so sad. I couldn't believe it, though, when you joined the Order. I never saw that coming. But maybe it was for a bigger plan. See, Lily, we'd never be where we are if he never broke up with you."

How right James was. "I thought losing his love was a blow I could never withstand," Lily agreed softly. "But look how far I have come without anyone holding my hand. I just had to find my way."

"He handed you a chance," James added. "To make a brand new start. Look how much you're learning here. Even if you crash and burn ten times a day, you're still striving for something much more."

Lily chuckled weakly. "I have a lot to thank him for."

"Do you think you've finally found your way?"

She hesitated, looking at the person waiting for an answer in front of her. He watched her nervously, with a pleadingness in his eyes.

"I think I'm here to stay."

James broke out into a grin. "With me?" he asked hopefully.

Lily had to smile at the look on his face. "I can't even think of anyone else I'd rather stay with."

He wrapped an arm around her and leaned in until he was mere inches from her face. In a soft murmur, he said, "Good, because I never want to hear the name Caradoc Dearborn again."

She barely had time to whisper "never" before his lips were on her's again passionately. This time, she knew there would be no time or reason for regrets, and it didn't take any thought before she was kissing him back. His arm around her waist reassured her, his hand on the side of her face told her he'd never let go, and his lips on her's told her everything she needed to know including how much he loved her.

* * *

It was almost one in the morning when they finally found their way back into the common room. Lily was laughing as she made her way through the portrait hole. James grabbed her hand, and she turned back around to glance at him. "Shh..." he whispered with a smile, putting a finger to his lips.

But it wasn't soon enough.

Three people on the couch caught them in the act of sneaking in.

"You've been gone for an hour," Marlene's voice came from over by the fireplace.

James and Lily froze and looked over from where her voice came. "Sorry," Lily apologized as James let her go.

"Did Dumbledore have a lot of questions?" Remus questioned.

James almost laughed at how Remus asked. "Actually, no. He already knew."

Marlene broke out into a smile as James and Lily sat down in the vacant spots on the couch. "No," she commented in surprise.

"Yes," Lily corrected her.

"I knew it!" Marlene exclaimed loudly.

"What?" Sirius spoke up, confusion evident on his face.

James just grinned at Sirius. "You really are slow, mate."

Marlene was looking at Lily and James with excitement. "Well, if there ever was a perfect couple, you two definitely qualify."

"What?!" Sirius yelled, standing up suddenly, and broke out into a wild grin. "Finally!"

"Finally..." Lily agreed.

Finally, she knew where her path ended.

* * *

The "epilogue" which is really another chapter will feature the second part of this song and a song from Les Mis. It will be somewhat depressing but happy in some aspects. Just because I was dying because of the fluff. 

Watch out for my two winter-y one-shots. One is actually Harry/Ginny and some girl named Jenny. Really. Blame Catchlove. The other will be James/Lily.

Review!


	14. A Little Fall of Rain

This epilogue is actually longer than any of my other chapters. I blame procrastination for not getting it done sooner. But it's done, it's up.

The whole mood of this epilogue changes drastically throughout. It's been my plan for each of these things to happen and even though it's a bit of a change, I think it has to be in here. For the people who know everything about the original Order, you know what happens to each character. Something else is going to happen to another.

The first half is based off the last Legally Blonde song, Find My Way, while the second half is a song from Les Misérables. If you know of the musical, you're probably staring up at the chapter title and saying 'oh crap' in your head. Yes, that's right. If you haven't seen/heard of the song, it's in my favorites on YouTube.

So, I believe that's it. Enjoy._

* * *

_

_March 27__th__, 1979_

He appeared on her doorstep early in the morning, rapping on the door loudly. She clumsily made her way to open the door and wrenched it open, then greeted with a pair of anxious eyes.

"Why don't you just apparate in, James?" Lily asked exasperatedly, with a yawn, opening the door wider to let him in.

The grin on James's face didn't falter as he answered, "I didn't want to _surprise_ you. Not me."

Lily raised an eyebrow at the inflection in his tone. "What do you mean?"

The look on James's face almost scared her – it was that happy. "Wouldn't it be a _surprise_ if I just _surprised_ you one day by just popping in? It'd definitely be most _surprising_..." He leaned forward to emphasize the one word.

"Somehow I think this has something to do with a surprise," Lily exclaimed, a puzzling look on her face as she crossed her arms.

"What makes you say that?" She could tell James was on the verge of just breaking down into hysterical laughter. Lily just stared back in response, so he added, "Besides, you never sleep in past ten – even on the weekend. It's now officially noon."

"Late night," Lily simply answered.

She regretted saying it immediately and only hoped James wouldn't notice her slip-up. However, the way his eyes lit up told her differently. "Wait a second – you were out with _me_ last night."

"I stayed up reading a good book," Lily retorted without missing a beat.

The light in James's eyes didn't dim in the slightest. "You were practically falling asleep when I brought you home."

"It...was a..._really_ good book."

"You're stuttering," James sing-songed.

Lily frowned. "You're a prat."

"Ah, but you're going to marry a prat, then."

Lily found herself smiling despite her attempts to keep a calm composure. "I can always change my mind, you know."

"You wouldn't. You love me too much," James exclaimed.

Lily barely had time to think of a retort before a series of loud voices erupted behind her. "SURPRISE!"

James turned to Lily with a triumphant look. "Knew it."

He was answered with a groan from Lily. She slowly turned to look at the people behind her who were previously hiding behind the couch. "You couldn't have waited, could you?"

Sirius made his way over to the pair and immediately threw an arm around the two of them. "Hey, you ruined it from the start. We just thought we'd come out before you gave even more away. Happy birthday, mate."

James grinned. "Thanks." He turned to the other two people. "I can't believe you threw me a surprise party! I had no clue!"

Remus shook his head in disbelief. "Yeah, you definitely had no clue."

"Couldn't be anymore obvious, really," Marlene added with a grin, playing along.

James took a look around. "Where's Peter?"

Almost as if on cue, Peter apparated beside them, a bit out of breath. "Sorry, sorry. I got caught up but I'm here – I made it -"

"Aw, Peter, I didn't know you cared so much." Suddenly, James pulled in the unsuspecting Peter for a hug. "It's so touching."

"He's scaring me," Marlene admitted to Lily quietly.

With a laugh, Lily responded, "It's his birthday. He's allowed to be – scary, I guess."

The two girls watched as an interesting scene unfolded before them. And then when James leaned over to glance into the kitchen, his eyes landed on something that caused another grin to appear on his face.

"You have a cake!" A shout, and then he disappeared into the kitchen.

* * *

James turned over the square present and looked at the front. "A..." The excitement in his voice faded almost immediately. "Book. Thanks." He looked up at Lily who sat next to him on the couch to see her looking at him amusedly. 

"It's a scrapbook," Lily explained, taking the book and running her fingers over the cover. "See. 'James and Lily – Volume One'. It's only volume one, because, we obviously have many more photos to take."

Suddenly, James looked at the book interestedly and began to flip through the pages. Glimpses of their Hogwarts years passed by, including the fateful seventh year. Flashes of the Order and their friends were visible. And their recent engagement.

_"James, where are you taking me?" Lily questioned him as he grabbed her hand and led her away from the chaos of their friends. They had taken a lunch break from Order work and found theirselves at the park. It was December and snow coated the ground._

_James just glanced back at her with a mischievous grin. "It's a secret."_

_Lily sighed as they stopped at the top of a hill. "What's up here?" She looked around at their surroundings. She could still see the little forms of their friends lounging on the grass below._

_"Nothing," James answered her, a bit too innocently._

_She gave him a dubious look. "What are you up to, James?" She huddled into the warmth of her coat and scarf. She didn't have gloves, but that didn't matter, as her hand was tightly clasped in James's._

_"It's beautiful up here," James responded, looking out at the horizon._

_"Yes, it is," Lily agreed softly._

_"I love you." _

_Lily smiled to herself as James said the three word sentence. It still sent a chill down her spine and she loved it when he said them. "I love you too," she told him and he grinned at her._

_She leaned forward to kiss him lightly. He gladly accepted and laughed when she had to blink away the snowflakes that stuck to her eyelashes. James brushed them off, and then murmured, quietly, "Marry me?"_

_Lily's eyes flickered up to his. "What?"_

_He brought out a black box from his pocket and opened it, showing Lily a small diamond ring. "Marry me?" he asked again, a bit stronger._

_Her eyes lit up and she smiled brightly. "Of course." _

_James slipped the ring on her finger and they kissed again, but were interrupted when their friends caught sight of them. _

_"If there ever was a perfect couple, this one definitely qualifies," Marlene exclaimed._

_Sirius excitedly made his way over. "Oh, I love you guys!" he announced loudly. _

_Lily and James laughed. "No, we love you guys," she said to them in unison._

_"We weren't spying anything," Remus decided to explain quickly, as they all surrounded around the newly engaged couple._

_Peter grinned. "We just happened to be on this hill at the same time."_

_The couple had to grin at their friends. "Oh, you guys..." Lily said __affectionately_

_Congratulations were spread as the snow drifted down from the sky._

"How many pieces of cake is that, Peter?" Laughter never ceased as the oblivious Peter just shrugged in response.

"I'm thinking twelve," Remus answered intelligently, barely containing his smile.

Marlene glanced at the clock and groaned, pushing out her chair to stand up. "I'm late," she explained, throwing her coat on.

James frowned as he watched her hurry to leave. "Oh, come on, Marlene. It's my birthday. At least stay for a couple more hours."

"I would love to, but my parents are in town and they're coming over in-" She checked the clock again. "About a whole two minutes."

"That's why we had to have the party early," Lily told James. "Marlene's parents insisted on this date to come visit her. We had to work around it because, honestly, what's a party without Marlene?"

Marlene laughed at the compliment. "Still a party."

"Tell your parents to wait an hour," Sirius then tried to convince her. "We're about to play Gobstones and I need your crazy game skills to help me win."

Lily could see Marlene seriously debating on whether or not to stay. "I'm sorry," she finally said. "Really, I need to go and now I'm even later than ever. But I really wish I could stay. Happy birthday, James." And before any of them could say anything, she had disapparated away.

Lily sighed and then handed Peter another piece of cake. "Well, there's still ten official hours left of James's birthday."

Peter graciously took the piece of cake and they all watched with amusement as he began to eat as though he would never see food again.

* * *

"No, don't!" The warning was a bit too late; the cards exploded anyway, and they all jumped back in surprise. "I tried to warn you..." Lily told the group with a shrug and a smile. 

But James wasn't fazed. "That's the best part of Exploding Snap anyway."

"Agreed," Sirius said.

The arrival of the Longbottoms caused the group to jump once again. James immediately stood up to welcome them to the party, but then took in their distressed looks. "What's wrong?" he instead found himself saying.

But Lily recognized the look. "Who?" Her voice cracked, and she suddenly couldn't breathe. It was difficult to say just that word.

Frank and Alice hesitated and all Lily could think of was that they shouldn't be hesitating; they needed to get to the place of attack as soon as possible. But she also didn't want to know who it was – what if it was someone they knew?

Lily took a quick look around at the others – their anxious and worried faces, waiting with baited breath. When she stopped on Sirius, she noticed his eyes widen with understanding.

"No, she just left-" he started, and then Lily understood.

"Marlene?" she breathed, watching for the answer from the Longbottoms.

They didn't even give an answer, and instead, apparated away as quick as they came. Without even thinking first, Lily followed, the only thing racing through her mind was to save her best friend.

* * *

Lily apparated outside of Marlene's residence and looked up to see the Dark Mark glittering maliciously in the sky above them. Her heart stopped when she saw it. Marlene couldn't be - 

It was only a second later when James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter stood next to her, staring up at the looming figure in the sky. Droplets of rain mingled with the gloom in the air.

Lily barely felt James's hand gracing her's, trying to hold her back, before she sprinted up to the building. She had to find Marlene.

The building seemed deserted, but Lily knew that the threat could still be here and waiting to attack. Things she learned in the Order swam through her mind, but she couldn't catch ahold of a single one of them. All she could think of was to find Marlene and not let anything get to her.

It was almost as if Lily could hear the breathing behind her before whoever opened their mouth.

"_Expelliarmus_!" Lily whipped around, catching the Death Eater off guard. He flew backward, slamming against the wall from the force of the unsuspecting attack.

Lily grabbed the wand that flew to her and, with shaking fingers, pocketed it. Another slam against the same wall caused Lily to jump back in fright, her heart beating a tattoo on her chest. Cautiously, she made her way around the corner and saw someone she thought she would never see alive again.

"Marlene!" Lily shouted.

Marlene turned to look for the source of the yell and suddenly, another shout broke the silence. "_Avada kedavra_!"

She was so far away, Lily wasn't going to get there in enough time, Marlene was going to-

The spell missed Marlene by only a couple centimeters, as at the last minute, someone had pulled her down to the floor.

Marlene stared at her savior with wide eyes. "Thank you," she choked out.

Sirius was about to answer but was interrupted by the same Death Eater.

"_Crucio_!"

"_Expelliarmus_!" Sirius shot back, breaking off the curse before it began. He stared at the Death Eater for a second, and then said, "Travers?"

The Death Eater stalled, and then laughed coldly. "Ah, the traitor of the Black family. Sirius, isn't it?"

Sirius frowned and Lily took this time to take a few steps forward, to join with her friends. "We went to school together."

Lily blinked, realizing that she recognized him too. He was a Slytherin in their year; Sirius and James once "accidentally" set his hair on fire in fourth year. He was just a quiet kid that used to sit next to Severus in his classes. Lily shuddered when she thought about what he was doing – what he had done.

Travers didn't answer, only smirked slightly.

Sirius was watching him with a confused look. "You're only nineteen. You shouldn't have to-"

But Travers just held up his wand. "I've already killed, Black. I can't go back now."

"You killed my parents." Lily looked over at Marlene, who was staring at Travers with a furious expression.

Travers smiled wickedly. "And you're next."

Lily noticed how Sirius stood in front of Marlene as he said this, daring the Death Eater to go through him first.

"_Crucio!"_ Travers yelled.

"_Protego!_" Marlene defended herself, creating a barrier around the three to shield them from the attack.

A glint in Travers's eye told Lily that he was planning something. "_Avada kedavra!" _In the midst of the first spell, he cast another. "_Sectumsempra!" _They were able to dodge the first carelessly-thrown spell easily. And then, in a flash, he was gone.

Sirius took in a shaking breath, once they were finally alone. "We're okay."

Lily nodded in agreement. "Y-yes."

He then turned to Marlene. "You okay, Marlene?"

She slowly shook her head, clutching her tightly. Lily's eyes darted down to where she held the side of her stomach and saw blood seeping through her fingers.

"Marlene!" Lily gasped, alarmed.

It was then that she crumpled to the ground and took Sirius with her, who caught onto her arm at the last second. Sirius hadn't noticed what had happened yet. "What's wrong?" he asked, confusion in his tone. He didn't let go of Marlene's arm as he peered over her worriedly.

She moved her hand slightly and Sirius saw the blood first. Sirius and Lily both noticed the long gash down her side after.

"Oh god," Sirius whispered in shock, looking up at Marlene. She was looking at him through hazy eyes, grimacing in pain.

Lily thought frantically. What had happened? Travers had cast the Killing Curse and then – some other spell. It was quick; she couldn't remember what it was.

Sirius was panicking, letting her lean against him so that she was in an elevated position. "Marlene..."

In a shaking whisper, Lily repeated her name, but Marlene wasn't focusing on them anymore. She was breathing heavily and holding onto her wound.

Sirius looked up at Lily. "Please tell me you know some healer spells," he said quickly.

"I-" Lily stuttered, fumbling to take out her wand. "Yes-yes." Her mind reeled as she tried to remember even one. It was Marlene. She had to remember at least one. And suddenly, it came to her and waved her wand over Marlene.

The wound glowed, but it didn't stop the blood flow or Marlene's pain. She instead coughed, eyes shut tight. Lily could have sworn her breathing slowed.

Sirius's eyes widened as he noticed what Lily did. "You have to stay with me here. Marlene!"

She groaned, finally opening her eyes to meet Sirius's. She shifted slightly, holding her side, fingers now drenched with blood. "I'm sorry..." she paused; speaking becoming a difficult thing, "-that I didn't try my best."

Tears were making their way down Lily's cheeks. She couldn't help Marlene. Sirius could help Marlene. No one could.

Sirius just shook his head frantically, finding Marlene's free hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "You did, you did. Just hold on. We'll get through this, come on..."

"Please, Marlene..." Lily pleaded, her chest uncontrollably tight as she tried to speak. If she could just stop crying – but the tears kept coming.

Marlene shook her head, looking up at the two through heavy eyelids. "I'm sorry, I really am. I tried..."

Sirius was watching her through tear-free eyes. Lily vaguely wondered how he could not be crying. "We can't lose you," he told Marlene softly.

Marlene sadly smiled at him before whispering, "Never stop fighting." Her gaze turned over to Lily. "Thanks for staying with me."

Lily faintly smiled through her tears. "Anytime."

Marlene reached around to the back of Sirius's neck and brought him down, using the rest of her strength to place a light, short kiss on his lips. Her hand on the back of his neck suddenly went limp, falling from its place to her side, and the only thing that was keeping her up was Sirius's hand on her back.

Sirius pulled away to see her eyes had closed and her chest had stopped rising and falling. He looked over at Lily with a lost expression, and Lily knew he had no idea what to do or where to go next.

Suddenly, everything she had learned in the Order was real. She had witnessed something that tested all her skills and strengths.

Caradoc had died for the same reason that Marlene had; to keep them safe. At the end of the day, the Order just wasn't about making an ex-boyfriend jealous or proving yourself, it was about a cause. A cause to make the world a better place.

James knew this all along. That was what he was trying to tell her. It had just taken her a longer time to understand.

James found her a couple minutes later, just sitting next to Marlene. Without a word, he gathered her into his arms and hugged her. She knew that he would be there for her. Through the Order. Through their marriage. And through their life.

He would die for her and she didn't doubt it for one second.

Seriously.

* * *

_Fin._

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and put this in alerts or favorites. I appreciate everything. If anyone has an idea for another musical-based HP story and I know the musical, I might actually write it. Just send me a PM. Thanks again for reading!


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